Thursday, September 18, 2008

NBA 2k9 coming to your cul-de-sac soon (Oct 7)

Just thinking about tipping off another season of NBA 2k9 makes my balls glisten with moisture. According to (a FMode fav) I played NBA 2k8 102 days topping any other game in the history of my 360 console.

My goal next season is to double that and hit 200 days, it will take dedication, a lot of ignoring real worldy tasks (father duties, husbandry and other work related nonsense) but I think I can pull it off.

More plagery below from a blog I frequent ( NBA 2k's living rosters and NBA Insider for the franchise mode( self plug thank you).

In the last few days more NBA 2K9 information has been released than in the whole previous 12 months. To save you from being swept away in this torrential downpour of information we thought we would go through all the big news in one concise package, with links for further reading along the way. Just like NBA 2K9 itself you can dig as deep as you want.

The huge announcement everyone had been waiting for was unveiled by Gamespot today which you can find right here along with a discussion with the producers on the Gamespot Podcast here. It is well worth a listen as they cover off quite a few of the new features and its always good to hear it straight from the developer themselves.

The big feature everyone is talking about is surely 2K’s Living Rosters & NBA Insider. Not only matching NBA Lives “Live 365″ Feature but taking it to another level by adding a “human element” into the mix.

Basically 2K have employed someone full time, a real person, to keep track of the NBA over the course of the season and continually adjust the game to reflect the real life happenings. So say OJ Mayo turns out to be a disaster in the NBA, his ratings will take a tumble, and going even further, he may even lose his flashy dribble package or move specific animations he started with. On the other end of this spectrum is players who perform well may have their packages improved or if they develop a killer new move during the course of the season, it will be added into the game.

This isnt just a cosmetic thing either, 2K has promised to fully realise the additions of new moves in the form of full motion capturing just like every move the game starts out with. You can be sure that when 2K sets out to do something, they do it right.

” The 2K insider also has a blog on that is interactive with fans. The 2K Insider will be able to communicate important news via a blog on the company’s Web site, as well as through calling out specific players via an in-game 2K Insider screen that will highlight the latest news and biggest movers in the NBA. In addition, the 2K Insider will be able to affect the stats of players on a regular basis. If Derrick Rose has had a consistent streak of missing from beyond the 3-point line, you can expect to see his 3-point percentage take a hit in the game, courtesy of the Insider.

But while the 2K Insider can take away, he can also give. If Deron Williams continues his success of last season or O.J. Mayo begins to dominate during his maiden campaign in the NBA, you can expect to see not just attribute bonuses but actual new animations available to that player as the season progresses. These new animation packages will be mo-capped, produced, and added during the course of the season by 2K devs and added to deserving players who have excelled during the season (or perhaps even developed a new signature move). In other words, this is new content developed during and relevant to the 2008/09 NBA season, not merely unlockable animation packages that are already in the game.”

This is clearly a feature that 2K was holding close to its chest, and while Live may have had the first jump on them with their 365 feature, it seems that 2K just may have overshadowed them with 2K Insider. No game before has ever promised to add new animations and dunk packages into a game via patches, and this could be a huge advantage for 2K.

The other key development, apart from all the gameplay tweaks which is an article in itself, is Association 2.0.

Building on the foundation of last years Association mode, 2K has their sights set on taking it to another level this year with a fully integrated interface as the centrepiece. The big part of this is the way information is clearly displayed for the player, just like the real

You will see headlines covering everything from Players of the Week, Players of the Month, Rookies of the Week, Rookies of the Month, League Rumours, Trade Rumours, Injuries, Scoring Streaks & Career Milestones and Broken Records. If that sounds like a lot, well its just the start. 2K has stated they will include over 200 story types and 75 different game results to be included in the headlines.

From this main screen of your Association you can then drill down to various stat charts, league leaders & dynamic stat reports that now include a more scientifically accurate metric stats such as efficiency and true shooting percentage. Also included of course is the trade screen, from which you can make trades with up to 4 players per team and including up to 3 teams.
The trades this year also include “Bird Rights” for the first time in a game, which will allow guys who are into Association mode to sign guys that are on your team for more than they can get elsewhere and beyond the salary cap, in line with collective bargaining almost.

Overall it really seems 2K has taken the Association 2.0 to a level all on its own. No longer will you feel like the only guy in the league striving for success as headlines from around the league and constantly updated information will keep your head in the game. This could be a first step towards an online association mode with all these features and we can’t wait to get a taste of it.

Coming in the next few days we will be breaking down the new gameplay elements to be introduced into NBA 2K9 as it truly is shaping up to be the best playing basketball game of all time. Be sure to check out all the articles linked and all our coverage here at

Friday, September 12, 2008

Charles Haley's Warrior

I was recently reading the latest Bill Simmons Sports Guy article on and came across a reference to Jeff Pearlman's book "Boys will be boys" about the 90's Dallas Cowboys. Anyone who remembers that posse knows they were ripe with debauchery, cocaine, prostitution and a bushel of sex toys but I don't think anyone really knew how f'n nuts some of their guys were, namely Charles Haley.

I'm straight plagiarizing this from another blog because hey, this is the Internets and no rules apply right?

Enjoy, if possible

WARNING: If BBC's frighten you, stop reading now (This guy apparently didn't mind monster dongs in his grill)

Jeff Pearlman has a new book coming out in September called Boys Will Be Boys, which chronicles the Cowboys during the Aikman-Smith-Irvin glory years. Tucked inside the book is a chapter called “The Last Naked Warrior,” which is a nickname defensive end Charles Haley used for himself. Haley, if you recall, was a goddamn beast of a pass rusher, and also a legendary asshole. But what you may not know about Haley is that he was:

A) Legitimately insane
B) Hung like Milton Berle
C) Liked jacking off in front of teammates and coaches

And not playful jerking off. We’re talking the real, hardcore, I’m-home-and-my-wife-is-at-the-movies jerking off. I’ll let Pearlman fill you in:

Haley would stroll up to an unsuspecting (49er) teammate, whip out his phallus, and repeatedly stroke it in his face. Players initially laughed it off…

Hey look, it’s Charles’ huge erection! And he’s pleasuring himself! Man, that is funny.

But Haley refused to stop. He would jerk off in the locker room, in the trainer’s room. He’d wrap his hand around his penis, turn toward a Joe Montana or John Taylor, and bellow, ‘You know you wanna suck this!’

Well, it was San Francisco. I, for one, am glad to see that Haley liked to go native. I’m assuming Montana replied, “Really? I know I wanna suck that? Well, it hadn’t occurred to me before. But now that you’re masturbating right in front of me in a completely unprofessional manner, I can see your point.”

Pearlman also gets this quote from Michael Silver:

”Charles used to beat off in meetings while talking graphically about other players’ wives. It got to the point of ejaculation.”

Well, if you don’t reach the point of ejaculation, there IS no point. Am I right? Think about this quote for just a moment. You go to work. You go sit in a meeting. Then Bob from Accounting decides to take out his Frankencock and starts talking about banging your wife, and then orgasms right in front of you.

That’s… unusual. It won’t surprise you to know that Haley was also a raging homophobe, saying to a new Cowboy teammate once:

“You’re from California? You must be a fucking faggot.”

And he would know! Because he was in California once, jerking off in front of large groups of other men. I haven’t seen a homosexual this insecure since Vin Diesel. Brady Quinn would like him to sign with the Browns ASAP.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Go Utes and Damn I used to be funny

First off...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, good to see the Utes finally joining in the overlying theme of this old blog

Secondly, just out of curiousity I have been reading through blogs I wrote over two years ago and damn I used to be pretty funny. Whether it was a Phallic reference to Birons's chubby fingers or just overall chicanery involving how much I hated living in NY, it was always funny and always fresh.

Not sure if we can get this rolling again with both me as a employed parent now (as opposed to the old me sitting home in NY working part-time) and biron as a full-time achievement whore but I think it would be good not only to get some odd thoughts out of my brain but to entertain ourselves with our own seld humor.

Damn that's a long sentence, def not English professor quality but I'm gonna let it slide for now.

Alright Go Utes, War Beanie's Les Franc disease

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Josh Hamilton it too early to order my #33 Josh Hamilton jersey? The Reds are 4-1 when he starts a game this year, and his impact thus far has caused enough of a stir that newly re-signed CF Ryan Freel began taking ground balls in the infield early last week without being asked to do so.

"I know that for the Reds' sake, for our team, you've got to have that guy's bat in the lineup," Freel said Tuesday to someone other than my blogging punkass. "I'm not going to hit 30 home runs. I know there's people still questioning (Hamilton), saying, 'Let's see how this pans out.' This kid's ready."

Not sure about other Cincinnati fans, but when your resident alcoholic goes out to reassure faith in a former drug addict / alcoholic, that's speaking from experience and carries a little bit of weight with me.

Hamilton's carnage so far:

This does bring up an interesting situation - what happens to the lineup if Hamilton produces throughout the season as he appears capable of doing? The Reds are high on infield prospects Brandon Phillips and Edwin Encarnacion, and they obviously have 7 million reasons to get Freel into the lineup as often as his style of play permits. Alex Gonzalez is an incredibly streaky hitter, however his defense is the epitomy of what new GM Wayne Krivsky emphasizes in pitching and defense. So what's the Reds next move? Thank Xenu the internet gives the faceless internet the ability to solve life's most important problems.

Edwin Encarnacion is the type of player that's going to play every day, and while doing so he's going to drive in a lot of runs. Despite his early struggles, he's still going to be in the lineup against both RHP & LHP - and on top of that he also provides that outstanding bat that breaks up Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey Jr. in the lineup (I say this on the assumption that manager Jerry Narron sticks with a lineup eventually) that will benefit by seeing a lot of hitter's pitches. Gonzalez will in the least prevent a midseason switch of Phillips to SS as was rumored prior to signing Alex, which leaves first base. Currently the Reds are platooning Scott Hatteberg against RHP and Jeff Conine against LHP, which is working out well as Conine has started on fire and Hatteberg is still working counts and producing by hitting pitches in favorable counts.

So what's the answer?

Ehh, we don't have one. Encarnacion has been rumored (I may have started the rumor in a sewing circle that may not have made its way out of my hometown yet) to be a candidate to move to 1B, however a midseason switch on a young player doesn't usually turn out too well. Alongside that, Joey Votto is coming off a season in which he hit .319/.408/.547 with 22 HR's and 77 RBI's in AA and has started the season in AAA to work on his "defense" (despite Narron saying he was impressed with a few plays Votto made in the spring). What's going to happen is Freel is going to dart around the field spelling various people for days off, take a few days off himself because of his "wreckless style" (which I still don't buy), and as much as I hate to say it, this entire lineup snafu is going to go on until Griffey comes up lame jogging out a ground ball.

All for this guy:

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Almost had my first NYC fight!

Having moved to NYC four years ago this month from the hard streets of Salt Lake City (801 bitches) I anticipated a much tougher lifestyle than I've encountered, not so much tough life as I expected to be in arguments with annoying New Yorkers more than I have, well, I got my chance tonight!

I had just helped carry all the laundry a few blocks away to the laundromat for my 9-month pregnant wife and headed home to play some 360 whilst she did the heavy lifting (really not that hard of a job).Get a phone call from her 20 min later "Come down here, some guy is telling me to F off".Immediately my heart and adrenaline go berserk, as i'm throwing on my shoes I see a hammer lying on the floor by the door, almost grabbed it but figured that might be considered intent to bash skull so decided against it.

I walk into the laundromat and a guy that looks like this gets right in my face!:

"Teach your wife respect yo, you need to tell her to watch her mouth yo A-oh oh-A"

Wtf is this guy thinking, i quickly thought to myself, so I immediately put my finger right in his face area and tell him to Shut his fat mouth (looking back I sure wish I was more of a cursing person but alas, I just am not so it didn't naturally flow)."Don't you tell me to shut up, don't you ever tell me to shut up yo" as he struggles to pull his jacket off of his fat sloppy arms.Needless to say, this dude has probably been in about 500 more fights than my soft azz but nonetheless, i could tell he was intimidated by my size so I played the role to a T, more stupid threats from him and more retarded comments by me and a little chinese owner of the laundromat got between us and the guy went storming out.I half expected to have him and Paulie Walnuts come in and shoot me in the head when he returned but he just sat there talking quick Italian on his cell phone as we packed up our crap. Not a big confrontation guy, but when a guy starts cursing out my pregnant wife for sitting down in a chair as she waits for her laundry and tells her she needs to be more respectful to other people, drops F bombs on her, I kind of lose it.Anyways, if i don't tell as many people as possible about it, it didn't happen right?

F this guy

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Xenu Christmas!

Ok, so I haven't posted in an eternity and Xenu must be displeased but I thought I'd share some wasted time. At least he is spending his holidays in the caribbean so I don't have to worry about his horrid alien egg nog recipe this year, damn that nutty creature!

Just think of what I could have done in the time it took to play all these dynasty games. I shudder to contemplate what accomplishments could have been achieved, what diseases could have been cured (or contracted from the Brazilian) or what weights/treadmills may have been exercised upon.

Merry Xmas to all 5 loyal Fmode readers, here are some sweet dynasty pics for you to ponder as you wait for your "loved" ones to leave your apartment/homes so you can go back to your couch tater ways.

NCAA 2007 Dynasty Pics

Monday, November 13, 2006

Go Bucks

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?"
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan graduate. The guy on the other side of him is 6'5", 250 lbs and he is also a Michigan graduate. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."

It was reported that the Michigan football Coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing 20 players for the Ohio State game this November...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves.

What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?
- Columbus: 187 Miles

What does the average University of Michigan student get on his S.A.T.?
- drool

How do you get a Michigan graduate off your front porch?
- pay him for the pizza

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as which of them was the most loyal of all. The continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, and gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."
"But I'm a Michigan graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "I even played football there!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I better show you how."

A Wolverine football player was almost killed today in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse just in time.

A little boy and his mother were walking through a Michigan cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies a Michigan graduate and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"

Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about their rivalry. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp.
"Who disturbs me?" asked the genie.
Jim and Lloyd both say they did it.
"You will each get one wish," said the genie.
Lloyd offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Michigan so that none of those stupid Ohioans can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high, and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!" The genie grants the wish to Lloyd and he is instantly whished away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Jim he'll grant him one wish.
Jim says, "Fill it up with water."

Why is ice no longer available at Michigan football game?
- because the senior that knew the recipe finally graduated

What are the three longest years of a Michigan football player's life?
- his freshman year