Thursday, April 21, 2005

Mock Drafts

With the NFL Draft coming up this weekend you're beginning to see analysis by everyone and their father's brother's cousin's nephew's former roommate about who's going to take who with what pick, and their reasons why. Now, sitting from my comfortable chair here at work I should be working in, let me remind everyone that reads these, makes these or trusts these for their pre-drafts...they're wrong.

Hitting the NFL draft's first round is like hitting every game going into the Sweet Sixteen on your office bracket you stepped up to the plate to and paid your $2 to get in. Not only is one pick going to upset an unspecified number of picks thereafter, but you also have projected people falling out of the first, unexpected people being pulled into it and then the mother-of-all draft screw-ups - the trades. So no matter how much you study a team's needs, tell your friends who your favorite team is going to take or think you should be sitting in Mel Kiper's shoes - just remember: you're wrong, your friends are wrong, and Mel Kiper is an overrated, light-loafered, Diet Coke-drinking cockstamped slapass who needs to care less about male collegiate athletes and more about surgically reducing the size of the ball-stand otherwise known as his chin.


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