Special Announcement

Announcers: Biron eluded to this a few columns back, but this epidemic is worth rehashing. What the hell ever happened to good commentary that didn’t sound like Michael J Fox in a spelling bee? Christ, if I have to listen to one more announcer ramble on about meaningless crap like Brett Favre’s mansion being destroyed, while missing a call, I’m going to kill somebody. There is also a good chance that this somebody will be paid to have sex with men. There, I said it.

In Sunday nights Giants vs. Chargers game, how many calls were missed? I counted 4 times where there was a penalty on the play and nobody said anything about it until the next snap was imminent. WTF? Do we really need to know how many supplies Eli Manning moved off a truck to help hurricane victims? I don’t care to be honest. If he’s so damn good he should work for the Red Cross.

In his defense, Kyle Orton got sent home while working for the Red Cross. He kept throwing supplies into piles with different jerseys on.

Back to the topic. Is it that tough to make a good call from the booth? The Packers former O-lineman Larry McCarren is the Packers radio broadcaster and this guy doesn’t miss a beat. He calls out holds, formation shifts and every missed block flawlessly. This is the crap I want to know. Give me some damn insight from your years as a pro. All Theisman does is bitch about how quarterbacks can’t be touched anymore. You can just hear the bitterness when there is a 15 yard penalty for grazing a face mask. In his defense, the 2nd half of his leg was reported found in a cave in Colorado. Al Leiter also did an amazing job with this last year in the AL Championship series. He definitely has a solid future in broadcasting.

To finish this pile of crap article off, all I ask is this. Give us some interesting things. Tell me about the amazing stuff that went on in practice. Tell me about what players were out for happy hour after practice all week. Tell me how Mike Sherman gained 60lbs in a few years as Packers coach. It isn’t too much to ask. At this rate, I’d prefer to watch a silent game. No announcers, just sounds from the fans and the actual game. Who would have thought, enjoying a sport without talking heads spouting useless crap.

Novel