Friday, August 25, 2006

FMode Short Hops

Sponsored by So I'm gonna steal the title of their random MLB observations from, sue me for plagiarism, it's a great title, hopefully I'll remember to do this from hereon out every few days/weeks/etc.

I'm T-minus two weeks until I'm out of this shitty NYC roach infested, mexican music blasting neighbor apartment and in my brand new (well four-years old) 2 bedroom/2 bath apartment with DirecTV (hence the sponsor) so I thought what better way than to blog some MLB randoms.

National League ball isn't worse that American League ball, it's just "Different". National League teams are required to both 1: hit the ball 2: field the ball. What this does is make their benches fill up with soft hitting utility guys that have various roles on a team. They have to fill in for a SS/2B/CF when a double switch occurs and also have to be able to pinch hit and stay in the field afterwards. Doesn't sound like much, but it is a HUGE difference.

American League benches can be stockpiled with Frank Thomas, Ruben Sierra, Jose Canseco and other should be retired ballplayers that in no shape or form could survive a month in the National League. Not only do they survive in the American League, they can kick major ass. There is absolutely no need for a utilityman infielder or an extra speed outfielder during the regular season in the American League (although it does play a part come the best of 5/7 playoffs).

Comparing these two typs of ball is like comparing pineapples to guava (I spared you the apples to oranges cliche'). Sure they are using the same rules, they intermittenly play each other (which lately has been largely lopsided so maybe my theory is shit) but one is just not that much better than the other they are just different.

As much as it makes me regurgitate chalupa in my mouth a little, I dont' see anyone in the AL beating the NY Yankees. Adding Abreu to that team just isn't allowed and should have been blocked if the Commish had any nuts, letting a team add so much payroll this far along in a season has destroyed many a fantasy team, which is what the Yanks are becoming.

Heaven forbid Arod ever gets over his mental breakdown, that team is going to be tacking up Numero twenty-seven.

As a huge Padres fan, I am trying to get excited about being in the wild-card "race" but man, the level of inconsistency by this team is enough to make me drink the koo-aid. I don't think if Xenu came down and played third base he could be worse than Todd Walker, dude's throws are seriously gonna get Adrian Gonzalez's arm broken some time this year. Luckily Russell Branyan is on the way.

It would be redundant to mention all the sick ass young arms chucking in the majors this year in fact I predicted one of them on the penis-head last spring but I wanna know why a lot of veteran pitchers are getting slapped around so badly? I don't have answer as to why Josh Beckett has given up the third most runs in the American League or as to why Jake Peavy has an ERA over 4.00 (I do know that tendonitis played a big role in this). Maybe you don't need a "big" arm anymore, the Mets are tearing through the season with a gimpy Pedey, Tom Glavine and Steve Freakin Trachsel heavy in the rotation. Even though all these arms are great, a great hitting team sure makes their pitching staff look better regardless of their quality (Go Reds!).

This is a video game blog so I'll hit upon the holiday that just passed, Maddenoliday. I've been frustrated by the Madden/NCAA combo for the past 2 or 3 years, mainly because every year it feels exactly the same. While it may not be all that drastically different on the Xbox 360, one thing it does is feel new. Playing NCAA/Madden on the Xbox 360 is like getting a BJ from a new girl, you know it's basically the same bobbing motion, but man, all the new hand movments are great and you just love what she's doing with your taint. Chuck may disagree, but that's the way the short hops bounce today.

If I contradicted myself at all here, well, if they don't like Short Hops, well, then, fuck you. Really. Fuck you. Period."

And please, for the love of Xenu, no sounds at the baby! Please!


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