MVP Revelations

Last night Swade and I were able to face off in MVP online for the first time, which marked our first online battle since 2 games of NCAA back in January.

Now Swade and I are competitive, and especially with each other. Why, on my ranking scale of all things that kick ass in this world, I'd have to put "beating Wade" as a sure fire top ten item behind various things like blow jobs & seeing boobs - but fact is it's up there. In our NCAA games he handed me my ass in the first game, beating my Buckeyes with Texas by a score of 16-3. We came out for a rematch immediately after with me taking VaTech against him and his Florida Gaytors, and after jumping out 21-0 in the first half I had to scrap to hold onto a 28-21 victory - which came down to batting a ball down in the end zone.

So in our first meeting of MVP, we went with the "hit random 3 times" way of selecting teams, and a good matchup was made in I taking the Atlanta Braves, and him the N.Y. Mets. Things were even as we felt each other's pitching methods out throughout the first inning, but in the bottom of the 2nd I was able to put a man on first for C Johnny Estrada who belted a 430' HR to center field, giving me a 2-0 lead that I'd hold onto for another few innings.

Swade made attempts to get back into it, but Estrada wasn't having much of it. After 4 separate hitters reached base, he managed to throw out 3 of those 4 attempting to steal, which came as no surprise to Coach Bironm.

"Well, Johnny does share the same last name as the famous actor Erik Estrada from the police show CHiPS, so I knew he'd be able to deal with Wade's thievery on the basepaths," said Myself quoting Myself after the game.

"...attention all CP Units, Swade's a flaming homosexual!"

But in the bottom of the 4th things got hairy. Andruw Jones connected on an outside pitch that was driven over the right field wall on a 2-run shot, and when Chipper Jones stepped into the box following Andruw he was drilled in the back by Mets SP Pedro Martínez. Jones charged the mound and was ejected, Martínez was ejected and the game was left to being decided by our bench coaches as both Swade and I had managed to get our managers tossed arguing calls on the bases earlier in the game.

So with tensions high, we went with a 9-inning unranked Pro game, randomly selecting for Swade the San Francisco Giants, and me the St. Louis Cardinals. Swade took home this time, but after the 3rd pitch of the game it was clear that this game had been long decided.

David Eckstein led off with a single on the 2nd pitch of his at-bat, and on the 3rd pitch OF Larry Walker connected with a Jason Schmidt fastball to drive it over the centerfield wall. On the 4th pitch, Schmidt drilled star 1B Albert Pujols in the back - somehow earning an immediate warning for both teams right in the top of the 1st (they must've saw the first game on ESPN8, the Ocho).

I couldn't let it go. After scoring 2 more runs in the 2nd inning, Moises Alou stepped into the box and I plunked him back. Not one to spoil a chance at revenge, Swade charged Mark Mulder on the mound and got Alou tossed. In the 3rd inning Schmidt managed to get tossed after drilling Mulder with a pitch (subsequently injuring him with a strained lower back), and after arguing Mulder's cause LaRussa went down the same path. The very next batter was called safe on an infield base hit, and for such a horrible call Giants' Manager Felipe Alou managed to get himself tossed as well (nearly filling the intensity meter I might add).

I think you see where this is going - but I'll just cut to the chase and reveal the revelations this game provided.

1. After a big enough lead, your bench coach will begin making random position substitutions.
2. It's impossible to pitch a position player. Swade managed to get every pitcher save one on his staff ejected including 4 starters, however the last remaining pitcher in Kirk Reuter was unable to use the L1 + L3 bean ball button to retaliate his teammates' honor.
3. Most importantly, it's not impossible to score 36 runs in a game.

So ya, lot of emotion, 4 injuries, 8 home runs, 17 player ejections and 32 sore backsides later, Swade and I concluded our oft-emotional rivalry until another time...