Welcome to my sewing circle
Hi, my name is Wade, and I'm not an alcoholic...except on the weekends. However, I am a videogameoholic, a sportsoholic, and basically addicted to anything fun. As this is my first post, I'd like to allow myself to introduce...myself.
Like most American men my age, I am devoid of original thought and conversate using movie quotes and anecdotes. So without further ado, here's what I like and dislike (and by dislike I mean despise with homicidal vehemence).
I loathe non-alumni Notre Dame Fans, people who sit in line for 2 months for Star Wars, and giving up 48 points to Northwestern in NCAA Football 2004 after not giving up more than 10 points in any one game for 7 seasons in my dynasty.
I think God loves me because I'm in first place on my fantasy team despite having four New York Mets not named Pedro on my team. I think God hates me because Carlos Beltran is one of them and he's only been in my lineup five times all year.
I think football should be a real college major...call it Football Education. I can major in Flute and play at Carnegie for money, why not major in my possible future profession? Is majoring in Flute any more of a guarantee of success than majoring in football? Seriously, I work with a supervisor (read: in charge of other humans) who majored in art...ART!!!
Speaking of art, I've been having this dream sequence for the last two years:
Gunnery Sgt Hartman: "What is this Mickey-Mouse-shit...you can spin the ball after you hit it?"
Tiger: "Yeah, that way people who have never played golf in their life, or a video game for that matter, can shoot 98-under."
Gunnery Sgt Hartman: "What is your major malfunction numb-nuts? Didn't mommy and daddy hug you enough as a child?"
Tiger: "What? 98-under is realistic…"
Unfortunately I wake up before the gun goes off. More of a nightmare than a dream. Amazing that Hot Shots golf is the most accurate of all golf video games, and it has hundred year old women who play scratch golf!
Finally, if not being on the team means I can't say "We won the game," then I guess not being a soldier means I can't say "We won the war." Unless you're Kellen Winslow Jr, then you COULD say you're a soldier and "We won the game," but he’d actually have to contribute more than just some surgery-time for the interns at the local hospital.
Like most American men my age, I am devoid of original thought and conversate using movie quotes and anecdotes. So without further ado, here's what I like and dislike (and by dislike I mean despise with homicidal vehemence).
“…But at least I won’t be unoriginal…”
I loathe non-alumni Notre Dame Fans, people who sit in line for 2 months for Star Wars, and giving up 48 points to Northwestern in NCAA Football 2004 after not giving up more than 10 points in any one game for 7 seasons in my dynasty.
I think God loves me because I'm in first place on my fantasy team despite having four New York Mets not named Pedro on my team. I think God hates me because Carlos Beltran is one of them and he's only been in my lineup five times all year.
I think football should be a real college major...call it Football Education. I can major in Flute and play at Carnegie for money, why not major in my possible future profession? Is majoring in Flute any more of a guarantee of success than majoring in football? Seriously, I work with a supervisor (read: in charge of other humans) who majored in art...ART!!!
Speaking of art, I've been having this dream sequence for the last two years:
Gunnery Sgt Hartman: "What is this Mickey-Mouse-shit...you can spin the ball after you hit it?"
Tiger: "Yeah, that way people who have never played golf in their life, or a video game for that matter, can shoot 98-under."
Gunnery Sgt Hartman: "What is your major malfunction numb-nuts? Didn't mommy and daddy hug you enough as a child?"
Tiger: "What? 98-under is realistic…"
Unfortunately I wake up before the gun goes off. More of a nightmare than a dream. Amazing that Hot Shots golf is the most accurate of all golf video games, and it has hundred year old women who play scratch golf!
Tiger to Satan: “...After the shot in exchange for Elin?”
Finally, if not being on the team means I can't say "We won the game," then I guess not being a soldier means I can't say "We won the war." Unless you're Kellen Winslow Jr, then you COULD say you're a soldier and "We won the game," but he’d actually have to contribute more than just some surgery-time for the interns at the local hospital.
“I’ve fought Lions in 3rd-world countries…ok, well Detroit. But it’s close!”
posted by Anonymous at
3:12 PM
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