Who cares about Barry Bonds?
“Barry Bonds takes batting practice at UCLA” reported ESPN.com today. Jayson Stark of ESPN.com reported that Barry has been taking swings for two days at the UCLA campus. “Him taking swings…is just another step in his rehab,” stated Giants GM Brian Sabean.
Mr. Stark also felt it was important to let everyone know that no coaches or players from UCLA were involved because the Gestapo running the NCAA might suspend the entire state of California for violating rule 123.C.45r.e23.horseshit of the NCAA Imaginary Criminal Code.
In other news, Tom Dipstick reports that he saw Mr. Bonds “taking a shit” right after lunch. “[Barry] has come a long way. He now has enough flexibility in his obliques and abs that he can push out a two-pound-deuce,” replied renowned Angels Orthopedist Dr. Lewis Yocum.
Seriously, is baseball so desperate for the least liked superstar of the last 20 years that they report on batting practice sessions? Is anyone else sick of hearing about Barry Bonds? Until I see him sitting in an on-deck circle, I don’t want to hear one word about him. I don’t care if he breaks his leg, dies in a car wreck, or plays for a AAA team…I don’t want to read about it.
The article, also states that last week, “Bonds began sprinting and cutting at the UCLA track.” Cutting? In Baseball? Yeah, I remember when Barry crossed up Andrew Jones on this sick move before he went to the hole for a resounding dunk. It’s a good thing he’s practicing cutting. I wouldn’t want that slight jog he does down to first on a grounder to the second baseman to cause any damage while he’s cutting. I’ve played 20 years of baseball and softball and never once cut. I ran straight, stopped, and sometimes slid.
Just in hot off the press: Barry Bonds grabbed a can of soup from his top cabinet above the fridge. This means he’s been practicing catching fly balls by raising his hand above his head. Hopefully ESPN will report this and put it above another real story.
Mr. Stark also felt it was important to let everyone know that no coaches or players from UCLA were involved because the Gestapo running the NCAA might suspend the entire state of California for violating rule 123.C.45r.e23.horseshit of the NCAA Imaginary Criminal Code.
In other news, Tom Dipstick reports that he saw Mr. Bonds “taking a shit” right after lunch. “[Barry] has come a long way. He now has enough flexibility in his obliques and abs that he can push out a two-pound-deuce,” replied renowned Angels Orthopedist Dr. Lewis Yocum.
Seriously, is baseball so desperate for the least liked superstar of the last 20 years that they report on batting practice sessions? Is anyone else sick of hearing about Barry Bonds? Until I see him sitting in an on-deck circle, I don’t want to hear one word about him. I don’t care if he breaks his leg, dies in a car wreck, or plays for a AAA team…I don’t want to read about it.
The article, also states that last week, “Bonds began sprinting and cutting at the UCLA track.” Cutting? In Baseball? Yeah, I remember when Barry crossed up Andrew Jones on this sick move before he went to the hole for a resounding dunk. It’s a good thing he’s practicing cutting. I wouldn’t want that slight jog he does down to first on a grounder to the second baseman to cause any damage while he’s cutting. I’ve played 20 years of baseball and softball and never once cut. I ran straight, stopped, and sometimes slid.
Just in hot off the press: Barry Bonds grabbed a can of soup from his top cabinet above the fridge. This means he’s been practicing catching fly balls by raising his hand above his head. Hopefully ESPN will report this and put it above another real story.
posted by Anonymous at
12:53 PM
1 Comments:
I remember clearly, the time Barry Bonds cut right in front of the line at training table, took all the BBQ Spare ribs and cut back out to his LAZ-EE-BOY.
THERE'S NO CUTTING IN BASEBALL!
By
Teebeebee, at 5:42 PM
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