Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Shut the hell up....

"Today we honor a great man. Jeremy Roenick, a 6'1" 196 pound center for the Philadelphia Flyers, was born January 17, 1970 in Boston, Mass. The doctor pulled Jeremy from his mother, smacked him on the ass, and Jeremy promptly had his first concussion. At one point in his career, JR was the most dominating video game player to ever grace the EA ice. However, we are not here to honor JR the player, JR the concussion freak, or JR the video game god. Today we recognize Roenick as the brilliant orator he has become by adorning him with the prestigious SHUT THE HELL UP award.

"I say personally, to everybody who called us 'spoiled,' you guys are just jealous...we have tried so, so hard to get this game back on the ice," said Roenick, from the Mario Lemieux Celebrity Invitational.
Clearly you're not spoiled, JR! Everyone plays at CELEBRITY INVITATIONAL golf tournaments. Everyone is jealous of pro athletes, Captain Obvious. Who doesn't want to make millions of dollars for an 8-month job. Hell, I'd do it for $50,000.

"We're going to try and make it better for everybody, period, end of subject. And if you don't realize that, then don't come. We don't want you at the rink, we don't want you in the stadium, we don't want you to watch hockey..."
...We don't want you to contribute to our salaries or our 12 bedroom, 10 bathroom houses. Does he honestly think that they had a labor stoppage to make things (for anyone) worse? Hockey players and owners aren't malicious, they're just selfish.

"I know we are going to give up probably more than any union has ever given up in the history of sports and, to me, I think that's enough to bring the fans back -- to know what their players are going to give up as much as they have in the last year...If people are going to chastise professional athletes who are making a lot of money they need to look at the deal we are probably going to end up signing in the next three weeks."
A team of 10 emergency surgeons makes less than $4 million per year. They save countless lives, repair broken bodies, and bring hope to thousands of children. A team of 23 hockey players will make between $32 and $36 million per year, save zero lives, create broken bodies, and bring hope to thousands of children. Maybe if professional athletes didn't make so much money, then more children would want to grow up to be a doctor instead of a punch-drunk dumbass complaining about a few mils.

Hey Roenick...SHUT THE HELL UP!

Bring back Hockey!!!


  • Haha good shit.

    Is that pic Post-Hatcher or Post-Puck last year?

    By Blogger bironm, at 1:54 PM  

  • He's had like 12 concussions...your guess is a good as mine.

    By Blogger Swade016, at 1:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home