NCAA '06 Pandemonium

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The football gaming world has been set on fire over the last 2 days, as EA Online Community Leaders across the nation have begun receiving their copies of NCAA 2006. As a result, unfortunately I'm posting this blog with heavy eyelids, sore fingers and an erect penis waiting to get off work and get back to playing it again - what with finally turning the PS2 power off around 4:40am last night for that illustrious sleep until 7:00am this morning.

For questions, comments, concerns - anything needing brought up besides your breakfast, you can find a bironm thread under the NCAA section over at Maddenmania, detailing my thoughts on the game and a brief chronicle of my experiences while testing it. Teebee ("teebeebee1" on the forums) has the game as well with an information thread, as well as adding commentary to various other threads. For all your NCAA '06 information just stop over and get your fix (when it's up anyway!).

The game rocks, the Buckeyes rock, and so far I'm ranked #1 in the world. I've only played 4 games so far and likely won't hold the position past next week while I'm on vacation, however it's sweet saying that...makes me feel like a hardass.

So anyway, I'd like to take this time to thank all the games I've played over the last year for being there for me in my moment of need, back when NCAA '05 didn't deserve to be in my fucking PS2. Games like GTA:SA, Tiger Woods, ESPN College Basketball, uhh...God of War, NHL '05 - you suck but I still love ya homey, NBA Live '05, Leisure Suit Larry and the big-tittied cheerleader with the twin in the end, too many to name - Deception, Deadly Alliance, Dynasty Warriors, Grand Tourismo, Halo 2...I know I can't get you all, but you know you got love. But now - it's on like Donkey Kong beooootch.

Shut the hell up....

"Today we honor a great man. Jeremy Roenick, a 6'1" 196 pound center for the Philadelphia Flyers, was born January 17, 1970 in Boston, Mass. The doctor pulled Jeremy from his mother, smacked him on the ass, and Jeremy promptly had his first concussion. At one point in his career, JR was the most dominating video game player to ever grace the EA ice. However, we are not here to honor JR the player, JR the concussion freak, or JR the video game god. Today we recognize Roenick as the brilliant orator he has become by adorning him with the prestigious SHUT THE HELL UP award.

"I say personally, to everybody who called us 'spoiled,' you guys are just jealous...we have tried so, so hard to get this game back on the ice," said Roenick, from the Mario Lemieux Celebrity Invitational.
Clearly you're not spoiled, JR! Everyone plays at CELEBRITY INVITATIONAL golf tournaments. Everyone is jealous of pro athletes, Captain Obvious. Who doesn't want to make millions of dollars for an 8-month job. Hell, I'd do it for $50,000.

"We're going to try and make it better for everybody, period, end of subject. And if you don't realize that, then don't come. We don't want you at the rink, we don't want you in the stadium, we don't want you to watch hockey..."
...We don't want you to contribute to our salaries or our 12 bedroom, 10 bathroom houses. Does he honestly think that they had a labor stoppage to make things (for anyone) worse? Hockey players and owners aren't malicious, they're just selfish.

"I know we are going to give up probably more than any union has ever given up in the history of sports and, to me, I think that's enough to bring the fans back -- to know what their players are going to give up as much as they have in the last year...If people are going to chastise professional athletes who are making a lot of money they need to look at the deal we are probably going to end up signing in the next three weeks."
A team of 10 emergency surgeons makes less than $4 million per year. They save countless lives, repair broken bodies, and bring hope to thousands of children. A team of 23 hockey players will make between $32 and $36 million per year, save zero lives, create broken bodies, and bring hope to thousands of children. Maybe if professional athletes didn't make so much money, then more children would want to grow up to be a doctor instead of a punch-drunk dumbass complaining about a few mils.

Hey Roenick...SHUT THE HELL UP!

Bring back Hockey!!!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Cheatin' Whore

For shame Tiger, for shame.

I've been on this Mortal Kombat: Deception kick for about 4 days since finding it for $20 at Best Buy (hence the martial arts blog title...kinda), but last night I wanted to take my first and long overdue shot at Sunday Tiger Woods on the Legend Tour. After my sure triumph over the final leg of the Tour, my plan was to log online and play whatever daily tournament was available as I enjoy accruing statistics online despite not being good enough to score in the top 25.

Ok so getting into the action, on the first hole Tiger tee'd off to the Legend music they kinda play when they announce their name, and subsequently launched the ball right over the green and into the rough. Ballgame right? You would've thought so coming from the Bironm camp, as I sat their and told the virtual crowd to "start the busses" and taunting Tiger with, "ooooh I'm in your head...you can't take it can you?"

And who the hell starts off a dream 18 with a par 3?

Well I birdied, he gets par - I'm +1. On the second hole, I get a 6" right/2" long putt that I somehow blow, and Tiger drills a 17 footer on the same slope I missed from 2' out...ok, I'll give him that (but call him a cheater under my breath). Back and forth, I end up taking holes #4, 7 & 8 to go +3 going into the back 9.

Tiger started hitting his putts, and by putts I mean chips (not to be confused with last blog's CHiPS, where if you remember right I called Swade a flaming homosexual). On #13, I manage to loft a wedge shot over a bend in the green and position myself right next to the flagstick, but that didn't matter - as Tiger chipped in from 16' out despite the Appalachian foothill the hole was positioned in.

Long story made longer, I go Dormie 5 on Tiger going into the 14th hole. Big payday incoming, the crowd can feel the electricity as the greatest virtual golfer in my entire house is about to go to bed with a big virtual payday and a bigger real life hard-on. Well, it was all for not - as Tiger managed to tie me after 18 by making me his man-slut on all 5 remaining holes. Did I break down? The game thought so, as I entered hole 14 with a 86% fairway percentage and subsequently never came close to the fairway again. I also had a chance to win it on #17 with a 23' "Straight In" putt that managed to rim itself out of the cup as well. We eventually went 7 additional holes until I got the ultimate screw job, missing a par #3 green (which was being played for the 4th time) and watching Tiger land 2' away from the cup.

The fix was in, my Legend status was revoked and I'm left to wallow in my self pity and handicap of -21 and a bank roll of only $28M virtual dollars.

Open wide virtual dork...you're next

So ya, I'm pissed - I cuss out a friend online, I slam my controller in disgust prompting my sick wife to wake up at 1:30 AM, and I decide that Miller Lite #6 doesn't sound so bad with work on the way in 5 hours. But hey, least I can log online and play my daily tournament!

Wrong. It's invitation only. Xenu Damnit.

Franchise Mode NBA Mock Draft : Bogut over Marvin, sorry critics, you are wrong.

With the NBA Draft coming up on Tuesday, all I hear is Marvin Williams has more potential than Bogut but Bogut may be more ready for the NBA. Here's how I see it panning out Tuesday night, excuse me while I slip on my oversized-bright purple pinstriped suit and hat with the flat brim to get in the mood here.

2005 NBA Mock Draft

1. Milwaukee Bucks: Andrew Bogut, C
Ok, first of all, the pick comes down to Marvin Williams versus Andrew Bogut. We're not comparing a senior and a freshman here, we are comparing a freshman and a friggin sophomore! Just because Bogut won every award sans the Zuckerman's famous pig award in NCAA Hoops last year, doesn't' mean he's capped out and reached his potential. Marvin is amazing and going to be a spectacular player but he's 6'7 and shyed away from contact last year, although he did get the game winning tip in the NC game.

Bogut had four guys on him every game all year and still put up 25 and 20 multiple times and carried a Utah team that had virtually no veritable talent outside of himself to the Sweet Sixteen. Its still the same story, Alex Smith is everyone's favorite target until he's picked then he's going to be a great QB for the niners.

Also, Boguts resume just screams of experience, which makes folks think he's older than he is, the guy isn't even 21 yet, we are comparing a potential packed 19 year old with an accomplished 20 year old, to me, there's no question who is the #1 Pick.

2. Atlanta Hawks: Marvin Williams F
Some think passing on Marvin is like passing on MJ to take Sam Buuwee, I don't think its that drastic, kid is 19, is going to be dynamic, just schools everyone he faces in isolation situations which means he's going to be dominant at the NBA Level cuz face it, its a one-on-one league, he'll fit in on the Hawks, bunch of kids running around with no apparent clue how to play the game. Hopefully, Marvin can teach Josh Smith and the rest how to win.

3. Portland Blazers: Deron Williams, PG
This pick is not going to be used by the Blazers, if I had to pick one team that is going to bite on the pick, I'd say the Jazz, they are willing to trade anything and anyone plus the #6 pick to get one of the big 3 PG's in the draft, Deron just fits them like a glove, look for him to quickly switch his Jailblazers lid for a Jazz cap on draft night, always an uncomfortable moment, you just finished discussing how you can't wait to play with Zach Randolph, next thing you know you're picturing Jerry Sloan screaming at you, Scary.

4. New Orleans Horncats: Gerald Green, F
This High Schooler may be the best athlete/player in the draft the same way T-Mac was when he slipped in the '97 draft. People will look back and say HOW THE HOLY SWEET HELL DID GREEN GO 4! That's how much I like this kid, if the world were correct the Jazz would forget about the disappointment of Deshawn Stevenson and take him but alas, that is not going to happen. Green, Magloire, JR Smith (thanks for the correction cocksmoker) and Dickau are going to make up for last years embarrassment of a season.

5. Charlotte Bobnets: Chris Paul, PG
Kid has been destined to play for this team since their inception, ok, that's a bit dramatic since they've been around for a year, but Bernie Bickerstaff has been stiff for Paul since he took over for the Hornets....errr..Bobcats. Okafor and Paul could be a solid combo but the fact remains, the Cats got hosed by the NBA lottery process, expansion teams should get a guaranteed top 3 pick for their first two or three years. Great pick though here and an absolute steal at #5.

6. Utah Jazz: Danny Granger, F
Once again, I say Portland makes this selection or the trade between Utah and Portland occurs right after this pick. Granger can flat out fill it up and proceeded to shove it down the Utes aholes (or is that up their aholes, i don't know, not sure about insertions in that orifice) every time they played, just a man amongst boys in the Mtn West Conference along with Bogut. Also, he just seems like a TrailBlazer doesn't he? I love my logic.

7. Toronto Raptors: Raymond Felton, PG
The Raps are so bad at the draft process I want to say they take the Giant European with pituitary problems but the fact remains, these point guards are the jewels of this draft. Felton will bring this team back to respectability quickly in the weak azz Atlantic division, he is probably the best athlete of either Paul or Williams and hasn't shown his complete game yet.

8. New York Knicks: Frans Vaquez, F
Oh boy, my heart is leaping with joy as I await the boos and jeers this Euro will enjoy walking to the podium here in NYC as the uneducated Aholes who live only for today's win go bananas. You thought Isiah made a good pick here? Well, get over it, no way he wastes a pic on a white player, he HATES white players, this guy is moving somewhere, possibly with Kurt Thomas for a combo of Quentin Richardson and another of the Suns players. Another great season awaits the Knicks as they pick up another tweener with a huge ass contract, I LOVE NEW YORK!

9. Golden State Warriors: Channing Frye, C
The best collection of college all-stars gets yet another as Frye slides into the starting center spot in Oakland. Frye is not a physical player but has such a well rounded game he'll instantly become a favorite as the Warriors win their standard 25-30 games next season. Frye, Dunleavy and Murphy along with Baron Davis poses problems every night as they get more experienced, team is coming along supa nice.

10. L.A. Lakers: Joey Graham, F
Just an absolute beast of an athlete, the Lakers get another player they can instantly plug into the starting lineup and now they can move Devean George and stop playing Jumaine Jones so effing much. Graham has an outside chance of Rookie of the Year considering the minutes he's going to get under the Zen master, a great compliment to Kobe.

11. Orlando Magic: Martell Webster, G
The Magic youth movement continues as they are starting to look like the Eastern Conf. Contenders.....if this were 2008! Still, Jameer, Bill Bellamy...um..Martell Webster and Dwight Howard are going to be a kick-ass squad, Webster is ready to go which is amazing how much better these HS kids are getting, this guy could be one of the top shooters in the draft. If only the Magic could keep Hill healthy and unload Stevie Franchise, he blows.

12. L.A. Clippers: Yaroslov Kovalev, F
Apparently, I've read that one team has promised the Ruskie that they were definitely taking him with their first pick, to me, that just screams CLIPPERS! If a russian is drafted in LA and noone is there to hear it , does it really happen? Can't wait for opening day!

13. Charlotte Bobcats: Hakim Warrick, F
Alone, Warrick may be too small, gambles too much on D and could be overpowered by stronger players. With Okafor on this team, Dear Lord, they are going to be blocking shots left and right. I'm still a big fan of Warrick despite the suits badmouthing of him, Paul Warrick and Okafor makes for an exciting year on Tobacco road (like i know where tobacco road is, I just thought that would sound good).

14. Minnesota T'Wolves: Charlie Villanueva, F
This guy (I won't say it , I promise) is a stud, he blocks shots, (don't say it!) can score at will on anyone, (NOOO!) and can handle the rock. Attitude is an issue (come on, I have to say it!) and is the reason he isn't at UCONN this year, Jim Calhoun just didn't want him back. Oh yeah, (oh boy, here it goes) HE HAS NO EYEBROWS!

15. N.J. Nets: Sean May, F
Sean May ranked incredibly high in my mind on the "measure the athlete" NFL style NBA Minicamp held a few weeks back, showing good vert and speed. Facts remain facts, he's fat, he's slow, and he has a good touch around the hoop. Could be a good guy off the bench but I highly doubt he's going to repeat his NCAA Final dramatics in the pros, who knows, the guy has good pedigree and its rare to find a big man with his credentials this deep in the draft.

16. Toronto Raptors: Chris Taft, F
If it were possible to have a worse attitude than a Hybrid of Randy Moss and Terrell Owens, here's the guy folks! Plays as if the team owes him something for showing up, at least he's consistently giving a half-assed effort. Still, following the May theory, worth a grab at 16 considering this guy was lottery bound before he turned into a total steamy tool last season at Pitt.

17. Indiana Pacers: Rashad McCants, F
Could the ending of the story be any sweeter than this? McCants will step right in for Reggie, no clue if his brain is as good as his shot, but if its anywhere close, this guy is yet another steal in the draft. McCants can flat out fill it up from 3pt land and as long as he at least gives a tiny bit of effort, he's going to be a solid pro.

18. Boston Celtics: Antoine Wright, F
Danny Ainge loves athletic NCAA players (SWEET! BEAUTIFUL! Enter other Danny-isms in here, SMOTHERED CHICKEN!) and while Wright isn't really as athletic as he seems, he'll be able to hide his inadequacies in Bostons go go go offense. Other draftniks have him going higher than this, but I don't see it, he's been a good player on bad teams his whole career, could be a good backup.

19. Memphis Grizzlies: Jarrett Jack, PG
Just a hair below the big three PG's, Jack will give the Grizzlies the ability to get rid of Rotten Chocolate and re-sign Earl Watson. Incredibly strong for a PG, Jack could be an NBA starter, he's started virtually since day 1 at GT and has played in many huge games, I really like Jack, and I'd love to see him do well in Memphis, one of the leagues most exciting young teams.

20. Denver Nuggets: Francisco Garcia, F
Its almost Euro time in the NBA draft, you know, the part of the draft where you really don't know anyone for at least 25 minutes? Followed by video highlights that look like they were shot by an Osama-watch camera hidden high in a gym somewhere in the Middle East? Sorry, I'm stealing Francisco's thunder, this guy is an average athlete, an average shooter who gets by on above average effort, the League needs more guys like him, a Shane Battier type winner, I love the guy.

21. Phoenix Suns: Johan Petro, C
Ok, his name is Johan, he's from France and he's black. Good thing David Stern just agreed to a NBA minor league system cause this guy is going to kick ass for the Charleston Swampdragons! A project at best and another attempt by the Suns to find their Big man.

22. Denver Nuggets: Ersan Ilyasova, F
I know so little about this guy I'm gonna plaigarize ESPN.com " Many believe Ilyasova was the best young prospect in Europe before a severe ankle injury kept him out most of the year. His workouts went well enough in Chicago to secure his place in the mid-first round. To me , he looks eerily similar to hunky actor Josh Hartnett, ok, luckily we're ending the first round soon because its officially EURO TIME!! WIR GEHEN ZU DAS DISCOTEQUE!

23. Sacramento Kings: Roko Ukic, G/F
Between the Jazz Kings Mavs and Nuggets, the NBA is the worlds game and here is another cog as Roko (solid NBA name for a euro, too bad he didn't go to NJ or NYC) is a legit ball-handler, he just can't shoot at this stage of the game. Might stay in Europe, might come to the states and play in the minors.

24. Houston Rockets: Wayne Simien, F
A big strong experienced rebounder could do the Rockets some good, obviously Yao ain't gonna dominate the boards. If this guy didn't blast his shoulders 50 times in college he'd be about 15 picks higher, once again, I have a certain bias towards these upper classmen mainly because they play the game right and have better attitudes, once again, generalizations rule.

25. Seattle Sonics: Andray Blatche, C
After taking Robert Swift last year, the Sonics gamble again on a big man with tremendous upside, I blame Potapenko and James, after watching those two guys, you do what you can to get a decent center. Minor leagues, once again, are going to reshape this years NBA Draft.

26. Detroit Pistons: Ryan Gomes, F
The Pistons need guys to step in and play, Gomes should be able to do just that, since there will be an open spot on the bench while Darko is toiling in AAANBA. Gomes probably should have come out last year, but he went back to school and Nova sucked ass, personally I think it killed his potential value, you know, if he's a senior he's automatically not going to get better, he can just step in and play now though. The experts are idiots.

27. Utah Jazz: Ike Diogu, F
Once again, if my theory is correct, this pick is going to Portland for the #3 pick, Diogu is another undersized big man with little to no ball handling skills and is just screaming NBA Bust, or he could turn into Kenny Thomas, I have no clue! I'll admit it here! Pick 27 ! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!

28. San Antonio Spurs: Kennedy Winston, G
Spurs can never have enough shooting, Winston can fill in when Parker is playing like a French whore and not driving to the hoop.

29. Miami Heat: Andrew Bynum, C
Guy was supposed to go to UCONN, after two years or so ESPN reports he could have been a lottery pick. Well, now he's headed to the Jet City Poopknuckles in the NBA's minor leagues! These HS projects are hit and miss, don't expect to hear about Bynum for a few years.

30. New York Knicks: Julius Hodge, F
Poor Julius, Knicks fans get as excited about a #30 pick as they would about a #3 pick, if he doesn't come in and shoot 60% his rook year, he's booed. I LOVE NYC, Knicks already have a player better than Hodge in Ariza but they don't care, I think Isiah would be happy if he had 14 Tim Thomas's on this squad.

There's your NBA Draft folks, I'll do a follow up and grade my picks and see how accurate I was next week sometime. Until then, here's another chick pic to continue the Franchise Mode tradition, damn you Chuck and Swade, keep this going!

MVP Revelations

Last night Swade and I were able to face off in MVP online for the first time, which marked our first online battle since 2 games of NCAA back in January.

Now Swade and I are competitive, and especially with each other. Why, on my ranking scale of all things that kick ass in this world, I'd have to put "beating Wade" as a sure fire top ten item behind various things like blow jobs & seeing boobs - but fact is it's up there. In our NCAA games he handed me my ass in the first game, beating my Buckeyes with Texas by a score of 16-3. We came out for a rematch immediately after with me taking VaTech against him and his Florida Gaytors, and after jumping out 21-0 in the first half I had to scrap to hold onto a 28-21 victory - which came down to batting a ball down in the end zone.

So in our first meeting of MVP, we went with the "hit random 3 times" way of selecting teams, and a good matchup was made in I taking the Atlanta Braves, and him the N.Y. Mets. Things were even as we felt each other's pitching methods out throughout the first inning, but in the bottom of the 2nd I was able to put a man on first for C Johnny Estrada who belted a 430' HR to center field, giving me a 2-0 lead that I'd hold onto for another few innings.

Swade made attempts to get back into it, but Estrada wasn't having much of it. After 4 separate hitters reached base, he managed to throw out 3 of those 4 attempting to steal, which came as no surprise to Coach Bironm.

"Well, Johnny does share the same last name as the famous actor Erik Estrada from the police show CHiPS, so I knew he'd be able to deal with Wade's thievery on the basepaths," said Myself quoting Myself after the game.

"...attention all CP Units, Swade's a flaming homosexual!"

But in the bottom of the 4th things got hairy. Andruw Jones connected on an outside pitch that was driven over the right field wall on a 2-run shot, and when Chipper Jones stepped into the box following Andruw he was drilled in the back by Mets SP Pedro Martínez. Jones charged the mound and was ejected, Martínez was ejected and the game was left to being decided by our bench coaches as both Swade and I had managed to get our managers tossed arguing calls on the bases earlier in the game.

So with tensions high, we went with a 9-inning unranked Pro game, randomly selecting for Swade the San Francisco Giants, and me the St. Louis Cardinals. Swade took home this time, but after the 3rd pitch of the game it was clear that this game had been long decided.

David Eckstein led off with a single on the 2nd pitch of his at-bat, and on the 3rd pitch OF Larry Walker connected with a Jason Schmidt fastball to drive it over the centerfield wall. On the 4th pitch, Schmidt drilled star 1B Albert Pujols in the back - somehow earning an immediate warning for both teams right in the top of the 1st (they must've saw the first game on ESPN8, the Ocho).

I couldn't let it go. After scoring 2 more runs in the 2nd inning, Moises Alou stepped into the box and I plunked him back. Not one to spoil a chance at revenge, Swade charged Mark Mulder on the mound and got Alou tossed. In the 3rd inning Schmidt managed to get tossed after drilling Mulder with a pitch (subsequently injuring him with a strained lower back), and after arguing Mulder's cause LaRussa went down the same path. The very next batter was called safe on an infield base hit, and for such a horrible call Giants' Manager Felipe Alou managed to get himself tossed as well (nearly filling the intensity meter I might add).

I think you see where this is going - but I'll just cut to the chase and reveal the revelations this game provided.

1. After a big enough lead, your bench coach will begin making random position substitutions.
2. It's impossible to pitch a position player. Swade managed to get every pitcher save one on his staff ejected including 4 starters, however the last remaining pitcher in Kirk Reuter was unable to use the L1 + L3 bean ball button to retaliate his teammates' honor.
3. Most importantly, it's not impossible to score 36 runs in a game.

So ya, lot of emotion, 4 injuries, 8 home runs, 17 player ejections and 32 sore backsides later, Swade and I concluded our oft-emotional rivalry until another time...

He may never play in a Pro-Bowl, but while he's in college...

What do these names have in common: Curtis Enis, Ryan Brewer, and Jeff Backes? All of them are under 5'10";. All of them were dominating in their Ohio high school football careers, so dominating they were all named Ohio's Mr. Football. All of them were dynamic college players whose presence on the field decided key Buckeye games. Just so happens that none of them actually played FOR the Buckeyes! Let's recap what the diminutives have done against Ohio State, then discuss what the Bucks have done about recruiting stud running backs in-spite of their size.

Buckeye fans will remember Curtis Enis from the October 11, 1997 game where he torched the Silver Bullets for 211 yards and a touch on 23 carries resulting in a come-from-behind 31-27 victory for the Nittany Lions. What they remember the most is that it was Enis who drove the final nail in the coffin at 10:31 in the 4th quarter with a 26 yard death-to-Ohio-State touchdown run.

Ouch!

Diminutives - 1, Ohio State - 0.

Ryan Brewer broke Curtis Enis' record for yards in a season for Ohio high school football. Did OSU recruit him? NO! Instead they let him beat the bucks not once, but twice...in the prestigious Outback Bowl. While Brewer was never a "stud" in college, he put up the only numbers that have ever mattered to a Buckeye fan.

Diminutives - 3, Ohio State - 0.

If you can't see me, you can't tackle me!.

Jeff Backes, not only was named Mr. Football in 2000, he played in Upper Arlington. UA is approximately 4 miles from THE Ohio State University, as the crow flies. Backes was moved to cornerback at Northwestern, so Bucks fans will never know if he would have taken Clarett's place after his departure. What they do know is that with the Bucks driving at the end of last years game, Backes picked off Zwick in the end zone, sealing the biggest upset in Northwestern's history.

Diminutives - 4, OSU - 0.

So, do we think Ohio State has learned it's lesson???? Ladies and Gentlemen, please say hello to Ohio State's newest Why-the-hell-didn't-we-recruit-him player, Tyrell Sutton:

You must be this tall to beat the Bucks...

What has Tyrell done to warrant passing over? He's 5'9" and 190 lbs (check). He racked up 3,241 yards and 38 touchdowns, just dropped 200 yards and 3 touchdowns on Ohio's brightest in the North-South game this past weekend, and he won this year's Ohio's Mr. Football award (check). So what else does the prophecy portend? Well, he'll be attending Northwestern this fall, so I'm guessing at least one more loss to the mighty Wildcats over the next couple of seasons. While most Bucks fans would be upset at this revelation, I look forward to the day when I can point my finger at Tressel and company and give them a big "I fucking told you so!"

MVPCS '05 - Game #4

Wrap up the series in San Diego my ass!

Game #4:

Starting Pitchers: Brian Lawrence, SD vs. Aaron Harang, CIN
Lineup Notes: Jiménez started at 2B, Peña started in RF

Game #4 made for a do-or-die type scenario for my Reds, as dropping game #3 faced us with a 2-1 series and 2 more games in San Diego to try and escape. The way #3 ended certainly gave Boz's Padres the momentum in the series in homering twice of RP Ryan Wagner (naturally with the first of the 2 being bullshit!), but that was something I was going to have to get over in an attempt to bring the series back home 3-2 either way.

Harang pitched pretty fantastic. He wasn't able to strike out as many as my staff did in the previous game, but I used a lot of low, out of the zone fastballs to try and give the impression of hittable pitches. Alongside the low heaters, I was able to mix a slider to catch a few corners and drop out, and Harang's cutter had more success than any other cutter I've used in '05. Alongside the nominally average 92 mph fastball, I was able to run the cutter out of the zone to right-handers, and leave a 4-seamer over the outside edge for a few looking strike outs.

I switched up my lineup this game after getting pissed off at Freel and Kearns. The middle of my lineup hasn't produced shit other than a few hits in game #2, and I'm convinced there isn't much there anyway. Unless I guess right and get a meat pitch to hit out of the ballpark, no one's particularly hitting the ball hard enough to get anything. I've had this theory since Bases Loaded 2 for the NES - players go through streaks. In Exhibition mode, if a certain player is streaking and another isn't, they won't ever - just how the game is set up. Naturally during season play they get hot & cold, however in exhibition mode it's already set and there's not a whole lot you can do about it.

But hey, I could be wrong. Not likely - I mean, once I thought I was wrong 3 years ago about something, turned out I was only mistaken.

Anyway, I juggled the lineup to get rid of the horseshit 0-4's from the cleanup slot to the 7th, and I benched both Ryan Freel (for missing the cutoff on the Roberts HR in #3) and Austin Kearns (for making the bad throw and not hitting shit all series). I scored first in the 2nd inning when Ken Griffey Jr. smoked a line drive HR over the right field wall, but Boz came right back with each run I scored. His first came in the 4th inning when Ryan Klesko singled to score Brian Giles after a double, and when I took the lead again in the 7th off a 460' monster shot by Adam Dunn (which careened off the shelf above CF), Boz followed up with a pinch hit RBI 2B by Mark Sweeney to score Khalil Greene. Tied 2-2 in the top of the 9th, Griffey walked to start things off and subsequently marked the end of RP Scott Linebrink's reign of terror on my hitters. Down 2-1 in the count with 1 out, I sat on an inside pitch with Wily Mo Peña and belted a 390' 2-run home run into the upper deck of left field, giving me the lead in the game and eventually the win, sending us to game #5 all tied up.

Mission accomplished.

Batting:
SD - Roberts 1-4; Loretta 0-4; Giles 1-4, R; Nevin 3-4; Klesko 2-3, RBI; Hernandez 0-4; Greene 1-4, R; Burroughs 0-4; Lawrence 0-2; Sweeney 1-1, RBI; Nady 1-1; Blum 0-1

CIN - Jiménez 0-3; López 1-4; Casey 0-4; Griffey 1-3, 2 R, RBI, BB; Peña 1-4, R, 2 RBI; Dunn 2-4, R, RBI; Randa 0-3; LaRue 1-3; Harang 0-2; Cruz 1-1

2B: SD - Giles, Sweeney; CIN - none
HR: SD - none; CIN - Griffey (1), Dunn (1), Peña (1)
RBI: SD - Klesko (1), Sweeney (1); CIN - Griffey (2), Dunn (1), Peña (2)
SB: SD - Klesko (1); CIN - none
E: SD - Greene; CIN - none

Pitching:
SD - Lawrence: 6.2 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 HR; May: .1 IP, 0 H/R; Linebrink (L, 0-1): 2 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 1 BB, 2 K, 1 HR

CIN - Harang: 6 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 3 K; Weathers: 1 IP, 2 H, 1 R; Mercker (W, 1-0): 1 IP, 2 H, 1 K; Graves (S, 2): 1 IP, 0 H/R, 1 K

Series tied at 2-2

...oh, & just who the hell am I to not continue the babe/post trend?

MVPCS '05 - Game #3: Padres head home to wrap up series

Forcing myself away from Meet the Fockers and constant Michael Landon insults by Biron, I decided to actually go online and play a bit of our MVP best - of - 7 series Thursday night.

Game 3 was every bit as epic as the first two games as the series shifted to the immense dimensions of Petco Park in America's finest city, San Diego, California.

You hit it out here, you have major wood

Adam Eaton faced off against Ramon Ortiz in the always pivotal third game of the set.
The game was scoreless until the third when with runners on second and third, Mark Loretta battled back on a 3-2 pitch to drive in Greene for the first run, and unearned one at that thanks to a smooth defensive boot by Ryan "I feel fine I can drive home" Freel. 1-0 Pads

The lead did not last long as the Mayor, Sean Casey blasted one out on a screaming liner to virtually dead center field to tie the game at 1-1 after five innings of play.

Eaton settled in after that holding the Reds scoreless as the Padres battled a combination of David Weathers, Ben Weber and Ryan Wagner after Ortiz left after a quick 5 innings.

Wagner started the bottom of the eighth, quickly retiring pinch hitter and secret weapon Mike Mad Dog Sweeney before facing the lefty Dave Roberts. It was time for some Padres hijinks as Roberts lined a screamer off of the cut out dimension on the right field wall. Austin Kearns made a desperate attempt to cut off the bad bounce, actually getting to the ball quickly before throwing to where Ryan Freel was supposed to cut the ball. Alas, Freel was thinking of where in Old Town he was going to suck down some suds, the ball missed the cut-off man for an inside-the-park HR for Dave Roberts, 2-1 Pads take the lead.

Loretta grounded out 3/unassisted as the red-hot Brian Giles stepped in and launched a solo-shot to RF.

Hells Bells time. Hoffman came in to close out Game 3 but ran into instant problems giving up back-to-back singles to Freel and Griffey before the only Reds hitter worth a damn this game Sean Casey dropped one oppo field to drive in Freel from second putting runners on first and third with none out.

In typical Hoffman fasion, a few changeups here for a K, a line out, a pop out and this game was history. The Final 3-2 Padres taking a 2-1 lead in the series.

Batting:
CIN - Freel 1-4, R; Griffey 2-4; Casey 2-4 R; Kearns 0-4; Dunn 0-4, R; Randa 0-4, RBI; Lopez 0-4, R; LaRue 1-3, R; Ortiz 0-0, SAC ; Cruz 1-1

SD - Roberts 2-4 R; Loretta 1-4; Giles 1-4 R; Nevin 1-4; Klesko 0-3; Hernandez 0-3; Greene 0-3 R; Burroughs 0-3; Eaton 0-1, BB; Sweeney 0-1

HR: CIN - Casey (2), SD - Roberts (1); Giles (1)
RBI: CIN - Casey (4); SD - Roberts (1); Loretta (1); Giles (1)
CS: CIN - none, SD - Roberts (1)
E: CIN - Freel, SD - none

Pitching:
CIN - Ortiz: 5 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER 4 K; Weathers: 1 IP, 0 H/R 2 K; Weber: 1 IP, 0 H/R 2 K; Wagner (L 0-1) 1 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 HR, 1 K

SD - Eaton (W 1-0): 8 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 4 K, 1 HR; Hoffman SV(2): 1 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 K

San Diego leads series at 2-1

*Amendment to the series, FIX YOUR ROSTERS! We are using custom rosters, no reason to still have Danny Graves on the team or have to use Jimenez, the guy is at freaking AA ball* Just thought I 'd share that one.

In keeping consistent theme, here is the chick at the end of the blog and a link that may just make u cream your jeans Tenacious D time you muthaf'rs.

Anyone need a car wash?

Its 1:15 am and I'm bloggin, Thank you Chris Snelling

5-1 game, Portland Beavers vs Tacoma Rainiers, pushing 12:58 am and I'm finishing up my shit here at work. What do i hear?

"Bases loaded bottom 9, bringing in Brad Baker for the Beavers" In my world Brad Baker is the future replacement for Trevor Hoffman, a closer who brings ungodly heat and a sweet azz changeup.

"Chris Snelling just hit a grand slam, we're tied!"
That friggin cocklobber, a grand slam, its 1:15 am now as I figure I'd contribute to what I have not been, this blog.

This guy=Cocksmoker

Anyways, in the world of video games, I've sadly not had enough time, I'm hopelessly addicted to my Mets dynasty and just got Beltran back after 17 days on the DL with a concussion (NO MORE DIVING FOR NO APPARANT REASON!) in which I lost 75% of my games to let the Phillies back into my division, I'm currently only 1.5 games up on them now.

God Of War has its hooks in me as well, I'm feeling i'm getting close to the end but everytime I think i'm done, its 4:00 am and dammit, I have to go to work within 12 hours, so that's pretty much my schedule.

Haven't had enough time to eat, sleep or get laid but I did happen to plug a game tying RBI Double in the bottom of the 8th today (not to mention make 2 erros in the outfield, just horrific ball I played today). If I didn't get that hit, I truly think it may have effected office morale. Epic win today.

Hopefully me and Biron can get together and possibly play the last 3 games in our best of 7, currently tied at 1-1. Eaton is on the hill for Game 3 at spacious Petco, even the Big Donkey has to lay into one to get it out of there.

War Eagle

Oh yeah, and in case you were sleeping too well tonight, the King Scientologist "If you don't like Scientology F*CK you, I mean, I don't Give a F*CK" Tom Cruise is dating this and converting her to the same lovely "Religion"

TOM CRUISE BLOWS!