New NCAA Baseball Screens

Seems to be just a few images of the Stadium Editor, which means they probably made a lousy attempt at acquiring the real things - which doesn't bother me too much, gimme good gameplay and we can start building a stadium base and edit them by the year like we did with football 4-5 years ago.

Looks pretty fun, and as usual if I didn't have an internet connection I'd be all over this - fact is I'll probably sample it to tell someone about it and then never touch it again if it's worth its weight online.

Anyway, just a quick update - check out all 5 screens and a video on the feature at IGN.

Unguided Blog

Hope everybody celebrated Thanksgiving (well, except for Mormons I'm guessing) by eating great food, being with family and giving thanks for the things that matter that we often overlook at times - our many freedoms, our families & possibly the most important thing...me updating this site in light of Boz going on a religious mission (?) to Kenya and Swade not posting since my FSU Babes post that rocked the very foundation of blogging in general. I know it's not easy to follow up, but with this post it's been bumped off the front page and certainly only those that viewed it originally will remember it...as well as everyone reading this paragraph who clicked "FSU Babes" that had that same hyperlink to it.

At any rate, check out my post FSU Babes when you get a chance - and what was I talking about again?

I kind of feel like I owe one of those posts where I cover a bunch of topics as to what's been going on lately in the sports & gaming world that this blog so eloquently (doesn't) cover, but I'm kinda going into this post blind so I'm not real sure where exactly I'm heading. You know actually, I'll just make a list:

Ok well, I guess onto the links.

Gamespot has posted a really cool article about all the cover athletes this year on sports games, it basically has the before and after stats of being on the cover in the same flavor as everyone talks about how being on the covers is a curse (certainly none of that around here), but it's a pretty cool quick read.

Gamespy (whom I recently decided that I should work for) has a pretty pimp Buyer's Guide up for the holidays. I normally don't like to totally pimp sites too much or try to make one site money (ya, and pigs routinely fly outta my ass), but the extents gone thru in this guide had to be recognized by someone - just choose your platform and go.

IGN has an article posted entitled "Top Ten Reasons to Buy an Xbox 360" - and it certainly makes a compelling argument. I know Boz had one pre-ordered and I think already paid for (imagine if he posted more than twice every month), but with his whole moving back to New York thing and going on a cruise (ok, I lied about the Mormon mission - I often go for shock ratings), we really don't have any FM exclusives on the games or the systems. What IGN really needs to do is write an article that'll actually help me out - "Convince Your Pregnant Wife to Buy an Xbox 360...Instead of Nursery Furniture" - although the title could be a work in progress.

And finally, I've been asked a few times about any news on the PS3 - launch, price, features - and I came up with an interview with Howard Springer (Chairman and CEO of Sony) that occurred on November 1st. A few highlights, because I know you bastards don't want to read the whole thing:

• "In a demonstration of the swift collaborative response to consumer-driven marketplace changes that a revitalized Sony can deliver, the company soon will unveil a line of compact, portable video devices to fill the time gap before PlayStation 3 launches in Japan in March and in the U.S. a year from now."
• "The reason Sony has suddenly gained support for Blu-ray is simple," said a high-level studio executive close to the discussions. "PS3 is a subsidized Blu-ray play that will sell 20 million units. The first HD player will be on the market for $1,000. PS3 could be at $300 or $400. Sony will be selling them at a loss the first six months to a year just to get Blu-ray players out in the market. So studios realize they need to have their content on it."
• "In keeping with the PlayStation business model, PS3 will roll out at a loss for the first six months, then rapidly turn profits on game-license fees. PS3 will be bundled with a selection of preloaded films, TV programs and games and sell for between $300-$400."

So there you have it. If you haven't read about the "Blu-ray" thing with Sony you can find out a bit about it in that link, and I'm sure I'll blog something about it to fill space at some point. I'm still pretty pro-Sony, but an entire year waiting on the new console is going to suck - but really sounds like a helluva deal. I'm working on the wife for a PSP for Xmas, but then again I work on relatives for video game shit every year but often come up unsuccessful - and I assume this year to be no different as we find out the baby's sex on December 19th...baby clothes galore!

Wherefor art thou Swade?

Hello, it's Swade. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Ok ok - it's biron and that was a cheap shot. Had this been an actual Swade post, you'd undoubtedly be spinning around trying to figure out wtf he's saying in just the first sentence, "Hello, it's Swade."

I keeed, I keeed.

I actually haven't heard from ole Swade since he switched jobs and we last argued over his big words, my cursing and Teebee's trail of tits 'n ass. But I mean, all I was trying to say was that next time, in promulgating your esoteric cogitations, or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable, philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness, a compacted comprehensibleness, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations.

Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and veracious vivacity, without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolixity, psittaceous vacuity ventriloquial verbosity, and vaniloquent vapidity. Shun double-entendres, prurient jocosity, and pestiferous profanity, obscurant or apparent!!

You know, quit using big fuckin' words!

Make It Five

You could actually argue 4 here because of Ray Lewis, but let's face it - he's not the best MLB on the planet anymore just 2 years removed from his Madden cover appearance.

I don't think I need to give background, but if you need it - here you go.

Now onto this season. Donovan McNabb suffers a sports hernia in week #1, the target capable of taking them to the Super Bowl and helping McNabb win an MVP award is suspended indefinitely for conduct detrimental to the team, and over the lack of targets and run game - McNabb has thrown 9 picks in 9 games, which unfortunately is more than he threw all of last year.

Now, McNabb is about to go under the knife to repair his injury and subsequently miss the remainder of the season. It's a horrible thing to happen to one of the league's great ambassadors, but if you didn't believe in the Madden Curse to date - it's never too late to wisen up.

I sure hope to hell Chad Johnson isn't on his way there, but my limited understanding of advertising logic is telling me that EA will attempt to market someone exactly like him into the role of the cover person. See, and you thought I was a synical bastard for posting about this all the time - I have my reasons for wishing the curse wasn't true.

NFL Tidbits for Week #11

I think the Bengals exposed a Colts defense untested against a legitimate offensive threat, however the Colts also showed that regardless of the situation that they've found that way to win required of all great teams. I can't remember scoring 27 at halftime and being down 8 points, but kudos to both teams for playing an extremely entertaining game. Oh, fuck the Colts for winning.

Btw, I wonder what Colts' Offensive Coordinator Tom Moore's going to do when Peyton's not around to call plays for him?

I think the Chargers are a dark horse again in the playoff race. One of the most underrated teams in the league, Drew Brees continues to show why Phillip Rivers is destined for anywhere but San Diego. The ageless one, Keenan McCardell continues to impress, but if Antonio Gates right foot turns out to warrant that protective boot from Sunday - suddenly the Chargers are much easier to defend. I don't think I need to say anything about L.T., I think we all can agree he's the best RB in the NFL despite Shaun Alexander's record setting pace of touchdowns.

Speaking of Shaun, amazing how many red zone looks you get after ripping your team up and down over a single fuckin' carry at the end of the 2004 season. He's now on pace to destroy Priest Holmes' mark of 27 in 2003 by scoring 30 - I mean, that is if you consider "destroy" and "by 3" the same.

Hey, the Houston Texans are about 53 players, a coaching staff and a knowledgable front office away from competing...

For all you people talking about the weak NFC and the Bear's chance at representing them at the Super Bowl, you do have one thing correct in your assessment of their defense - they are 2000 Ravens-like. I think by the end of the season you'll see they're not on that same level, but they have played eerily similar to it so far this season. However, your feelings on how Kyle Orton is going to make a fine pro - that all depends on which light you consider Trent Dilfer a part of.

And Tre - err, Kyle poses another interesting situation. What happens to Sexy Rexy nexy(next - sorry) season? I'm thinking trade bait and his past certainly warrants it, but he really showed some flashes of being really good before he got hurt the last 2 seasons. Should he stay healthy he'll be a much better pro than Orton (sorry Bears fans), but then again what do I know - I only watched Orton crash and burn twice at Purdue after reaching career peaks.

All I can do about the Rams loss to the Cardinals Sunday is step back and represent my hood with a token-black Stuart Scott catch-phrase - "my bad dawg." Here I am wondering why the hell the Rams refuse to use Steven Jackson unless Bulger's hurt - well, Sunday I think Jackson actually ran hard about 27% of the time. By no coincidence does the aforementioned percentage relate to my current fixation with how awesome Eddie George is for appearing in a video game TV show on G4TV.

I love the new TE's in the league - quick, agile and incredibly strong big men getting it done whether it be blocking or receiving. Ben Watson, Dallas Clark, Jeremy Shockey, Heath Miller - I just love 'em, and I sure as hell hope the Bengals pick up one next year. How badass would Leonard Pope look in orange & black?

Ya - had to go back to the Bengals, I'm a homer. While I'm here, let's just mention that Chad Johnson is becoming a complete receiver, and I think only Marvin Harrison & Torry Holt rival him in route running at this point, with Randy Moss and T.O. excluded because their freak of nature status allows them to get open regardless. The emergence of Carson Palmer and the supporting cast in Cincinnati will have Johnson being a force in the league for a long time.

DeAngelo Hall is a stud at CB and is going to enjoy many Pro Bowls, but I swear to god the next person to mention anyone as being a "shutdown CB" is getting punched right in the fucking mouth. They don't exist, shut up.

On the CB kick, I'm finally ready to admit that Deltha O'Neal is worth the hype he's getting for leading the league in interceptions. He makes outstanding plays on the ball and despite his aggressive, ball-hawking mentality, he didn't bite on a single pump fake from Peyton Manning yesterday. On the other side of the field (ahh shit, did I go Bengals again?), Tory James really kinda showed his age and what he has to do to keep up - be overly aggressive. James can still cover plenty well, but he's not going to be manning up on elite WR's with equal success as O'Neal can at this point. I'll say again, Bengals take a DB within the first 2 picks this draft despite our need for beef in the middle.

If the Redskins had another WR to compliment one this season's best in Santana Moss, I don't think they'd be as enigmatic as they've been. Problems arise from the opposing team concentrating on Moss on passing downs and Clinton Portis on rushing downs, and at times it has decimated Washington's offense. Losing to Oakland in a game they should've won has put their playoff credibility in question. Now, WR Taylor Jacobs takes over the #2 slot for injured David Patten and James Thrash - neither of which even makes the team in Cincinnati.

Shit, I did it again. But honestly, how sweet is it to have football back in the Buckeye state? Btw Cleveland doesn't count, for all I care that state up north can annex them.

4-1 vs. Michigan

SOCOM 3: U.S. Navy Seals (PS2)

With the exception of probably Halo, there's only one gaming franchise other than NCAA Football that gives me morning wood in the middle of the afternoon - and that's Socom: U.S. Navy Seals. Well, unless you live in a box and your favorite color is "dark" then you're aware that the third addition under the name released October 11th - and my marriage has suffered since.

Ok that's exaggerating, but I've played it a fuckin' lot.

Socom: U.S. Navy Seals became an instant classic back in 2002, and although I can't say that I was a charter member onboard that bandwagon in the early days I have been shooting shit since the 2003 sequel Socom II. For the aforementioned box dwellers that haven't seen, played or heard of this game, it's a 1st or 3rd person shooter (3rd is the most preferred by virtually everyone) that allows you to play as the leader of a group of 4 Navy Seals and rescue the world from the pits of terrorists bent on destroying anything and everything remotely normal in our accepted way of life. However, Socom hasn't been known for its single player campaign in the first 2 installments - it's essentially become the Playstation's multiplayer answer to Halo 2 for the Xbox, with a cult following that rivals it as well.

In the single player campaign, your group of 4 Seals is drawn out over North Africa, South Asia and Poland to (assumably) stop a madman leader by the name of General Heydar Mahmood who is the head of the North African Patriotic Front. What this leader wants to do - actually you know what, I haven't played the single player so I'm going to quit pretending I know what the fuck I'm talking about. But! From what I hear, the single player rocks this year and is much better than 1 & 2, which for all intensive purposes have sucked irregular-sized testicles.

What I do know about it, the maps are enormous yet easy to navigate. When you enter the "Quick Deploy" option from the Main Menu, you begin the first mission which exposes you to many new features and sets you up for the gameplay you're going to experience. Navpoints direct you from objective to objective so there's never a real gray area or that sense of not knowing what to do next. You can snipe enemies from afar, you get into some close quarters combat and you have the opportunity to utilize the first vehicle to the series, the gun-mounted multi-use humvee. After clearing a trail you come to a situation where you must cross water, but one thing - there's a big fucking gunboat there...that you get to use!

If that's not enough, you can actually swim across to the next point if you like - another new feature - but let's face it, the machine guns on those boats deal out some serious murder and are way too badass to let sit afloat. Voice commands are another neat thing - not that I'd bark out alpha, bravo or any other name with my wife around to make fun of me, but for the gaming enthusiast you have to appreciate the feature. I'll comment more on this when I actually do play it all out, as I hear it only takes about 3 hours to complete.

Online is the meat 'n potaters of the franchise. The Socom servers routinely bolster 20k+ at any one point in time, so there's never a lack of people to shoot at. Hosted "Medleys" of each gametype are available on all servers that typically list out Suppression Medley, Breach Medley, Extraction Medley, Demolition Medley, Convoy Medley, & Control Medley. Something tells me I'm missing one and don't have them in the right order, however you take the good with the bad when finishing the final touches of your blog at work vs. sitting in front of the TV at home. Suppression is your basic deathmatch, Breach has the Seals objective being to force their way into somewhere, Extraction involves one side rescuing hostages, Demolition places a bomb in the middle of the map with the objective being to blow up the other team's base, Convoy provides vehicles to one side and it's necessary to escort a convoy of trucks to a loading zone & then to an extraction zone, and Control is a race to plant colored smoke beacons at each point across the map before your opponent does.

Suppression and Demolition are the proven winners and usually are always full or close to full of 32 people, but Convoy & Control are really gaining steam and doing pretty well. Extraction & Breach are kind of slow and rarely have an assload of people in them, but overall every type of game is fun and it definitely stays interesting game to game. My typical thing is to join the Enlisted Ranks server and find a created room that's just a basic medley, one that chooses a random map & random game type from game to game - thus keeping all my skills fresh.

The servers are outstanding for the most part, with the only framerate problems coming when you're watching a game finish out from the view of another player. For those unfamiliar, in online Socom you typically die once and then wait for the objective to be met or the other team to be eliminated before you begin a new one. Games are typically set up for 11 rounds w/ the first team to reach 6 winning the contest, but it's an interesting change from traditional online warfare games. You can choose respawn as an option, and on the same token you can choose to play 3 round games instead of 11, play with 16, 8 or 4 players instead of 32; take away vehicles & explosive devices, remove certain guntypes, change the time of the rounds, change the maps from large to small, change the maps from day to night turning a once bloodshed rushing point into a sniping ground - just insane customization options, and all available under a great connection.

In order to help control online cheating, the developers added a player verification process that requires you to register with a credit card. While playing online Socom is free, what this does is prevents the punks of the virtual world from getting banned and then coming back under another name - because instead of banning "HaYw00dJab10wM3" they can simply ban the card registered under it, thus making it harder to obtain another card to verify another account. Verified accounts allow you to play "Ranked" games in which your stats are recorded to your online profile that raises your rank from a lowly Seamen to eventually Admiral if you're amongst the top 5%, but not verifying your account only allows you to play in Unscored games that serve no purpose other than to provide the free online service.

The weapon selection before each round online (also before missions in single player) is almost a game in itself, providing enough options for the long-time subscriber to Guns 'N Ammo and also making it easy enough for the guy who barely knows the difference between an assault rifle & a pistol. Different weapons have a variable amount of attachments that can be added to each, with everything from long range scopes, gun-sturdying bipods, thermal & night vision, frag launchers, silencers, RPG's, grenades, mines & claymores. Each has strengths and weaknesses, for instance - silenced weapons don't pack quite as much punch as unsilenced guns, and submachine guns are much easier to control than rifles but lack range. Sniper rifles cover an extreme long range when fitted with a high scope, but the drawback comes with the inability to carry anything more than a pistol as your sidearm for up close and personal combat.

I think that's a pretty good start to Socom, after I read back over it and decide I could've wrote another 18 pages about something else I'll do it at a later date. Now, like with any gaming review I do - I'm going to list an assload of related sites to point you in the right direction to establishing yourself in the community.

Game Reviews: Gamepro, Gamespot, Gamespy, G4, IGN
Gaming Ladder: Gamebattles.com, Socom Arena
General Forums: Socom3.com, Socomclans.net
Online Strategy: Tactical Whiteboard
Top Gaming Clans: Clay Pigeons, Eazzy Company, Hostile Annihilation Syndicate, Red Cell, Sea Snipers, Shadow Ops, Tactical Ops Unit, Urgent Fury

Anyway, Teebee and I started a Franchise Mode clan online that consists of us both and my younger brother, so if you happen to notice an [FM] next to someone's name then give us a shout out.

Worst song ever

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
Fly gearrr but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t fakin’
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps x3
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

Oh yeah, nice pass McNabb, time for surgery. And did we really need to hear both John Madden and Al Michaels say Pubic Bone on MNF? I don't think i'm going to recover from that for quite some time,

FSU Babes

You may remember them as the hotties you saw watching college football, the ones that made your nono say "yesyes" during week #1 at the FSU/Miami game...

*pause for effect

...but our hotties wouldn't settle there. The FSU Warchant message boards have become a hotspot of late, featuring these beautiful college coeds at many different venues. I really have nothing else to say on this post, so I hope you're not on a 56k internet connection that will make your life a living hell loading this blog for as long as this remains on the front page.

So, until next time....gooooooooo 'Noles.

All Hail Xenu!

While I usually try to pander to religous acceptance and try not to ridicule others beliefs, this scientology crap is bleepin' insane!

Some guy started a site called www.scienTOMogy.com and its causing quite a stir. The site basically mocks all that scientology is and what it represents and is mainly there to make fun of the famous movie dwarf known as Tom Cruise. This is causing an uproar on planet Xenoid and the owner of the site is being harassed and threatened with lawsuits and stun guns.

His classic response: "I'll call their bluff". Epic, we should all incorporate this response into our lives.

How do Scientology missionaries (assuming they have some) spread the word? Well, here is a really great direct quote from Tom Cruise:

"Some people, well, if they don't like Scientology, well, then, fuck you." He rises from the table. "Really." He points an angry finger at the imaginary enemy. "Fuck you." His face reddens. "Period."

Anyone ever heard of short-man-disease? Being 6'5 and playing mostly in the post when I play hoops, there is always the 6ft and under crowd just obsessed with their game. They come inside, they throw elbows, they get pissed off when you block calling foul on everything.

Basically, short people have a lot hotter tempers than us big people, probably because they know they are living on borrowed time as they can be crushed at any given moment by us big people.

Tom Cruise's life right now is basically him starring as Tim Conway in Dorf-on-religion. Seriously, this guy is a complete moron, can't get along with anyone and has taken over the mind of one Katie Holmes.

A couple of my friends went into a scientology house (or is it called the mothership) and they made them watch a video that went over the truth of what the earth is all about.

At the conclusion of the video, the nararator(or was it the mother brain) warned the viewer: "Now you know the truth, if you fail to accept this truth you might as well go find a bridge and jump or get a gun and blow your brains out because you are not worth anything".

SCIENTOLOGY:IT'S FANTASTIC!

Two NFL cheerleaders arrested at Tampa bar

Tampa, Florida – Two Carolina Panther cheerleaders spent the night in jail after a rough night in Channelside. The Panthers were in town to play the Bucs Sunday afternoon.

Witnesses say Angela Keathley and Renee Thomas were engaged in some type of sexual activity inside a bathroom stall at Banana Joe's around 2:20 am Sunday. Another woman waiting to use the bathroom got into an argument with the pair.

"Either let me be the meat in that sandwich or I'll piss right here on the floor," the woman was said to have screamed from outside the door.

Police say Thomas then punched the woman in the face.

"I can't think of many things more unsanitary than pissing on the floor outside the bathroom. I mean, as soon as we were finished making love on that toilet we were coming out - not like it takes Angie long to finish anyway," Thomas rolled her eyes as she finished the statement from her prison cell of 4 incredibly hot women.

When Thomas was arrested, she gave police a phony name to cover her identity. Thomas could face additional charges for lying to police, costing many officers on the force the fantasy of 2 NFL cheerleaders manicuring lawn.

"I've always wanted to believe it existed, but because of her misleading us we all missed out on the chance to fulfill that fantasy in the broom closet of headquarters last night," the Tampa Police Chief stated.

Keathley was charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing or opposing an officer, while Thomas was charged with one count of battery.

The two women were taken to Hillsborough County jail, where they both bonded out later Sunday morning.

NCAA Dynasty: Season #2

I'm battling through a serious bout of NCAA Football Depression (NFD), as over the last 2 weeks I've found it difficult to place my finger over the power switch to turn it on. For 3 years now I've been known as one of the better online players on the 'net, but in my current season of "Fight Club", I'm staring at a 1-5 record despite being the highest scoring team in the game - I mean, I just can't catch a fuckin' break. During this phase of being able to not do anything right, dynasty mode has helped curb my appetite in the right direction - and as of last night, I may just not quit this one for a little while yet.

With a single game to go in order to finish my second season, my Buckeyes sat at 10-0 after a trouncing of Michigan in a revenge game from last year. During my first season I struggled on and off throughout the year in search of offense and occasionally defense during my 8-3 campaign, but this season I was really able to put it together despite losing 7 starters on defense (FS Nate Salley, SS Tyler Everett, LB's A.J. Hawk, Anthony Schlegel & Bobby Carpenter, DT David Patterson, RE Mike Kudla). Even with losing Kudla & Patterson, my DL was arguably the best in the nation with DE's Jay Richardson (91) & Vernon Gholston (91), and DT's Quinn Pitcock's (95) & Brandon Maupin (87) - nothing penetrated the line all season. My LB's were stout with 2004 super recruit Marcus Freeman weighing in at 90 overall, Indiana University transfer John Kerr at 95 and true freshman Anthony Turner (84) in the middle. My secondary was about as balanced on age as you could get, as CB's Donte Whitner (99) & Ashton Youboty (95) were both seniors, paving the learning path for freshman FS Chad Henry (84) & sophomore SS Nick Patterson (86).

As crazy as it sounds, I lost 7 defensive starters and had a better rated unit the next season. I went from year #1 of having an 'A' defense to having an 'A+'. With Troy Smith now as a 91 and bordering on respectability in THA, I was able to produce a phenomenal season offensively. Erik Haw destroyed opposing defenses with my run-favored sliders and a much better offensive line in route to a Heisman trophy and several school records, Santonio Holmes and Ted Ginn both topped 1,000 yards receiving, and even backup HB Maurice Wells managed to tote the rock for 400 yards and 4 TD's.

I beefed up the CPU offense considerably this season because I felt I was a little too dominant defensively, but it's hard gauging that with an 'A' rated defense. In my first season I was defeated 3 times by stout defensive play and 2 great teams (Michigan & Texas), but I raised offensive sliders for them anyway. Remember, I'm a majority online player and I try not to deviate my offensive sliders too much as I want gameplay to be as close to online as possible. Sliders:

Offense - 9DzGuBUO

Defense - rFDxiQL2

Special - QsJqAo82

Anyway, some notes. Again I post these mostly for my own use - I like to look 'em up down the line, but I know the few dynasty guys out there always like viewing over someone else's shit too.

Ohio State Buckeyes, 12-0 (8-0)
2006 ADT National Champions

#2 Boise State (11-1): 3 vs #1 Ohio State (11-0): 45

Final Standings
1. Ohio State (61) 12-0
2. Texas Tech 10-2
3. Florida State 12-1
4. USC 10-2
5. Miami 11-2
6. NC State 9-3
7. Notre Dame 10-2
8. Illinois 10-2
9. Boise State 11-2
10. Iowa 9-3

My Sick-List of Accolades
RT Kirk Barton - 2nd Team All-Big 10 (18 pancakes, 3 sks all)
LT Alex Boone - 1st Team All-Big 10 (19 pancakes, 2 sks all)
G Doug Datish - Best OL, 1st Team AA (23 pancakes)
OLB Marcus Freeman - #4 for Bednarik, #5 for Best LB, 1st Team All-Big 10 (61 tkls, 21 tfl, sk, 4 int, 2 ff)
WR Ted Ginn - #3 for Best WR, 1st Team All-Big 10 (36 rec, 1036 yds, 10 td; 2 car, 32 yds)
HB Erik Haw - Heisman Trophy, Walker Award, Maxwell Award, Best RB, 1st Team AA, 1st Team All-Big 10 (233 car, 2287 yds, 27 td; 3 rec, 15 yds, td)
FS Chad Henry - Freshman AA, 1st Team All-Big 10 (38 tkls, 2 int, 2 ff)
WR Santonio Holmes - Best RET, 1st Team AA, 1st Team All-Big 10 (18 kr, 389 yds, 44 long; 44 pr, 870 yds, 84 long, 6 td)
Coach Biron Marshall - #4 for Best Coach (12-0)
G Kyle Mitchell - 2nd Team AA, 1st Team All-Big 10 (14 pancakes)
SS Nick Patterson - 1st Team All-Big 10 (39 tkls, 2 tfl, sk, int, ff)
DE Jay Richardson - 1st Team All-Big 10 (32 tkls, 22 tfl, 11 sks)
K Michael Smith - #2 for Groza, 2nd Team AA, Freshman AA, 1st Team All-Big 10 (16-21, 50 long, 69-69 xp)
P A.J. Trapasso - #2 for Best P, 1st Team All-Big 10 (20 punts, 46.9 avg, 7 inside 20)
CB Paul Wayne - 2nd Team All-Big 10 (24 tkls, tfl, 2 int, td)

Offseason:
LE Alex Barrow - 76 ovr, SO (RS), Transfer (NIU)
CB Brandon Underwood - 78 ovr, SO (RS), Transfer (MSU)
HB Maurice Wells - 84 ovr, SO, Transfer (Navy)
G Kyle Mitchell - 90 ovr, SO (RS), Pro Draft

So my Buckeyes ('A' Overall, 'A-' Offense, 'A+' Defense) took on Boise State ('B' Overall, 'B+' Offense, 'B-" Defense) for the national title. They could've placed my trophy in my profile after the Michigan game.

Maurice Wells transferred out on me, making him the 2nd RB to leave in as many seasons. If you remember, Antonio Pittman left last season after gaining some 400 yards on the ground and a handful of TD's for Maryland, where he's currently an 88 OVR Junior waiting out his transfer year. Wells will make a nice fit at Navy, taking Florida speed to a team that will definitely make very good use of that. But I mean hey, ain't my fault Erik Haw was a 95 OVR last season with 94 SPD and 94 BRK - dude is a beast, ain't gonna be anymore splitting carries. I let my backups play the 4th quarter on large wins in order to raise attributes during the season (great addition, EA), but I ain't benching Haw for a series just to get someone else some touches. This season will see '06 #1 HB recruit Victor Yancey backing up Haw (now a Jr.), and I'm hoping to maybe get him more yards then the ever-so magic "400" that has caused both my backups to leave in consecutive years.

Offensive Line rewards are retarded; no way Doug Datish deserved that.

Frank Solich won the Coach of the Year award over me, leading Ohio to an 11-2 season. Things could get interesting on the recruiting trail soon if I don't adopt some recruiting rules real soon.

My schedule is all fucked up. NCAA added a game vs Auburn after the Michigan game this year, which is a level of blasphemy untouched in prior additions. You can't delete the game either, as both Swade and I have tried everything within the parameters of God's green Earth - but now that I tried getting out of it, I'm stuck with a home game vs Youngstown State to open the season...how lame is that?

Recruiting Class for '07: (9) 5 stars, (13) 4 stars, (3) 3 stars

Check that link out too - QB Joe McGinty is your typical EA stereotype...a 6' tall black man with mid-80's speed and a C+ accuracy throwing the ball. I somehow managed to recruit 7 OG's this season (ya I forgot to turn off recruiting assistance off again), but I cut the ones I didn't recruit myself. Some people like to recreate those players on their 2nd choices in order to keep the talent pool up, but I'm a lazy fuck who just puts down random shit on my blog about 'em. Anyway, check my FS recruit Travis Burnette out...

Ya, that's fuckin sick. Do you foresee a pass getting caught over 10 yards? Well, I do - cause SO (RS) FS Chad Henry is an 86 OVR and somehow the impact player on defense over Marcus Freeman...so Burnette's going to sit a year while he mulls over growing taller...or something. But damn, 4.35, strong as hell and 6' fucking 7.

Anyway, season #3 should be pretty fun with a new QB, 2 new WR's, 2 freshman G's, & 4 CB's with 99 SPD. My defense is still rated as an 'A' overall, so apparently they must think I still have what it takes.

Guess who's back, back again

Tanned, 10 lbs lighter and loving life outside of the tunnels of hell in New York City, I decided to actually post here on the ole' FMode site. Just random stuff, so bear with me.

Point #1: Arizona and the West far exceeds the East. Sure, 80% of civilization lives on the East coast, most of the money in the country is there but I tell ya what, 75% of civilization is compiled of complete morons. I haven't been yelled at by one Russian Jew in the past 4 weeks and damn, that is an improvement.

Point #2: Covering the Arizona Fall League, I've come to the realization that either the MLB clubs involved in the league sent no good arms or there just aren't any good young pitching prospects on the face of the earth. Also, I've realized that hitters develop 10 times faster than pitchers, assuming there are still some good arms existing.

Point #3: Its impossible to follow either the NFL or NCAA Football while living in a house with both your parents for the first time in 10 years. I can't remember the last time I woke up on a Saturday or Sunday, said to myself "Self, be a lazy sack today and do nothing but eat gluttonous meats and cheeses".

Nope, most of my time has been spent being woken up by my quickly aging father at 4:30 am. Woken up by a popping of a Diet Coke can or a Bissel carpet cleaner. Apparently, whence you reach the age of 55 you can wake up any time of the morning with pure disregard for anyone else sleeping and clean carpets in our around the entrance of their bedroom.

Needless to say, i'm an ungrateful bastard for complaining when my parents let me shack up in their house for free for 6 weeks, but I have to complain about something, i'm a pseudo-newyorker now. To get back at him, I upgraded his cable package to include NFL Network, NBA TV and yes, the oh so necessary BullRiding SharkHunt channel Outdoor Life Network. Seriously, I think I'll watch more TLC in the next month than OLN but hey, if sports are on I have to have the channel.

Point #4: This years class of rookies has been way underrated. Between Chris Paul, Andrew Bogut, Deron Williams and the rest of the high picks, they are all playing like they belong. Good to see especially since the Jazz sucked a big wang last year without a decent PG. I'll try and put together a better-late-than-never NBA preview here in the next week.

Point #5: I don't know who I would be less upset to hear that their dead carcass has been found in a dumpster: Mike Irvin or Terrell Owens. I really, seriously don't understand how the question "Would the Eagles be better off with Brett Favre at QB" ever came into existence. I mean, how the hell does this even come about in a production meeting. Who raises their chubby fingers, says "Let's make up a fake scenario involving a cultish iconic Midwestern quarterback who will have statues in front of Lambeau Field and see if he's better than other quarterbacks on their respective teams".

Just doesn't make much sense, I blame fantasy sports, aren't the games enough instead of trying to make up shit for people to speculate. Whining about not celebrating his 100th TD? Well, when you poop on someones doorstep every morning, do you expect them to celebrate the morning you break your Cal Ripken Poopstreak?

No. Also, no need to explain my hatred for Irvin, just watching him spit and splatter and giggle and do his Arsenio Hall impression on NFL Primetime, man, ESPN is a piece of crap.

Point #...wtf.....I TOLD YOU TURN OFF YOUR BLEEPIN CELL PHONE YOU PEAR SHAPED LOSERS!! THIS BLOG IS OVER! HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR PEERS IF NOT FOR ME!

Before I leave with my typical trail of T&A, take this stone cold guarantee to the bank: The Eagles not only will make the playoffs, they will win the NFC East.

Peace out, I shall return and Praise Xenu and Skinemax.

Reds Sold

For years in Cincinnati there's been one professional sports franchise worth following, and with the recent emergence of the Bengals under head coach Marvin Lewis - ironically there's still only one professional franchise, and it's went from being the Cincinnati Reds to the Cincinnati Bengals.

Majority Owner and CEO of the Reds Carl Lindner, or "Satan" as I've grown to refer to him as, has compiled about as worse a tenure in his 6 years of majority ownership as any owner in the history of baseball's first franchise. Cincinnati is amidst a stretch of 5 consecutive losing seasons since our near-playoff appearance on a 96-67 season in 1999, and despite heavy front office and player turnover, they haven't really come close to sniffing anything remotely close. Lindner's now-famous first words upon purchasing the Reds are coming back to haunt his legacy, as he initially stated that he didn't care if he made money on the team, rather he just wanted to break even. An admirable aspiration I suppose, but when you want to win in Major League Baseball you need to be aggressive - and despite pulling perennial all-world CF Ken Griffey Jr., Lindner hasn't done that.

The downfall of Lindner can be traced to his unwillingness to employ competent management. Notice our lone successful season in 1999 was at the hands of "Trader" Jack McKeon (291-259), a player's manager who's knowledge of the game goes without question. For whatever reason the Reds pissed away another good manager much in a similar fashion to Davey Johnson (204-172) and "Sweet" Lou Piniella (255-231 & a World Series title), and have since lacked competence throughout the front office. As much as I enjoyed Jim Bowden's savvy on bringing in sought-after players, he depleted our pitching staff in a fashion that still cripples us today. New GM Dan O'Brien is currently in his first position as a General Manager in the Major Leagues, and although all of his decisions are really too young to rule on - I think he's a fuckin' idiot. I truly believe he's on a 3-year plan to turn the Reds around, and after we suck again in '06 I think he's gone, thus paving the way for hopeful new majority owner (sale pending) Robert Castellini.

Yesterday, Lindner agreed to sell controlling interest to a group of area businessmen headed by Castellini, who is currently a part of an ownership group of the St. Louis Cardinals led by Bill DeWitt Jr., thus meaning they'd need to sell their remaining interests with that club. The sale came as no surprise following a season that was marred by boos when Lindner would attend the ballpark, when just a year earlier Lindner had considered selling the majority 51.5% of the team, but later stated that he wanted to keep control.

Lindner has long been a positive influence in the tri-state area, amassing over $14 billion in assets in everything from banking to bananas. But, I merely posted that previous statement in a futile attempt to show him in a good light - turns out I'm a rabid sports fan and as usual, I'm just pissed off. And for your information - Lindner didn't break even with the Reds...he made $55 million dollars.

So - what does this mean for the Reds fans? A few commonly asked questions:

Gallery: Bironm, will the sale of the Reds go through in the rumored 3-12 month pending period?
Bironm: I think so, as it's a wealthy ownership group who already has their feet wet in the baseball ownership market. Two members of the investment group are Thomas and William Williams Jr. (I know, 2 William's!), who are both descendants of James & William Williams who were part of the club's ownership group in the 1970's. However, my inkling is this: if Bud Selig can find a way to screw up a perfectly good thing, he will.

Gallery: Bironm, will I live to see another World Series come to Cincinnati?
Bironm: I'd like to say yes, but it all depends on how old you are. If you're 85 years old, there's a good chance you won't - and based on history it's almost likely. Now I'm not trying to base this on age alone, I mean, if you're 35 and have an addiction to say crack cocaine, then I'd venture to say you may not live long enough to see one either.

Gallery: Bironm, will I be able to bring in my own cooler chock full o' beer to ballgames under new ownership?
Bironm: That's a good question, I'd write a letter and ask. Asking never hurt anyone.

But, no more questions at this time...

Tuesday Morning QB

Well you know, you gotta take into consideration the Monday Night Football game too.

So first thing's first - who wants to hop on for a ride on biron's forecasting dick? The Eagles are respectable at 4-3 and a lock for the playoffs given the NFC's deficiency in - you know - winning games, but how 'bout Donovan? Sure he's not playing bad, but he's not exactly posting the MVP-type number I think everyone and their brother expected him to post. His QB rating is down 17 points, he's thrown 1 less pick then he did all of last year and he's got an injury that is going to absolutely cripple him by the season's end as far as pain goes. Last year if I remember correctly the Eagles were undefeated, and you could make a case for them this year to be the same...with a healthy McNabb. Why isn't McNabb healty?

Biron "Nostrafuckindamus" M

Anyway, back to things that won't anger our resident mormon.

Did anyone else just lose interest in the football game last night after Roethlisberger completed the first 2 passes on the final drive? I was talking to my co-worker, and it appears as if we both fell asleep watching the game at the exact same time, which was when Quincy Morgan caught that second pass and ran out of bounds. But hey, helluva job by the Ravens to hang in there on prime time with a team devoid of any notable talent whatsoever.

Does anyone else giggle when they say "Quincy" to themselves? Or is that just me? When Quincy Carter was in the spotlight in Dallas, and this is very cruel btw - he has an oversized tongue and I know it's just not right to say shit about that. Believe me, I hate myself for doing it, but every time I hear "Quincy" it's immediately translated into "Quinthy", and I instantly go into impression mode in my mind. Hey - least I admit it, jackass.

I never got around to saying it, but I love seeing pics of quarterbacks during their bye weeks. Kyle Orton of the Bears of quickly moving up my list.

I think Chad Pennington's done, that is - unless he's traded to a west coast offense. In one of the most bizarre moves I've witnessed outside of Bengaldom in the last few years, new Jets Offensive Coordinator Mike Heimerdinger installed an offensive scheme that consisted mainly of a vertical passing attack. Well, Pennington couldn't throw a great deep ball pre-rotator cuff, much less post, and then the Jets swap their best downfield threat in Santana Moss for a 2-year past-his-prime Laveranues Coles. It's like....duhhhhh. No wonder Herm Edwards has the most sound bites in the NFL year after year.

Speaking of the Jets misfortunes, Falcon's QB Matt Schaub is as good as gone come season's end...and likely becoming a Jet. Ok ok, that's just conspiracy theory, but someone in NY has to figure out that Chad isn't what you need if you intend on throwing the football more than twice a game. If you don't intend on doing so, you had better have Michael Vick - so in essence, the 2 teams mentioned here mesh quite well, hence the above.

If the Houston Texans don't take an offensive lineman with their first pick of the 2006 NFL Draft, then Commissioner Paul Tagliabue needs to seriously consider taking the franchise back. It's almost to a point to where you have to turn away watching Texans highlights, thinking to yourself that Carr really isn't a great scrambler - he's just running for his dear life and thus gains the adrenaline-speed thing. Upon the ridiculous pick the Texans will make, the NFL could possibly move them to Los Angeles, where they rumor to be relocating something there every season anyway. Hey, how's the "Los Angeles Californians" sound? No...how bout the "Los Angeles Californians of Anaheim?"

How awesome are the latest Burger King commercials? There's nothing like seeing this guy take the place of players in great plays across the NFL, and just last week Kenny Mayne did a feature on him in the "The Mayne Event." Now normally here would be where I link a streaming commercial or something of that nature, but I don't have one. So, I leave you a snippet of the man who ran onto the field at the end of the Bengals/Packers game Sunday...

By the way, that guy did plead innocent.

Speaking of my Bengals, I'm not sure if I ever posted it on here but I said 10-6 at the beginning of the season, and I'm still holding strong on that despite a 6-2 start. 11-5 would be nice, I just don't see it happening. While I'm on the subject of Bengals predictions, I also said at the beginning of the season that our first pick in '06 would be SS Darnell Bing out of USC. I still like the pick and think he's what we need, but at this point I'm willing to welcome CB Jimmy Williams out of VaTech as well - that guy makes my nips glass-cuttingly hard.

If the Packers think they have a future QB in Aaron Rodgers - wait, I think ESPN clarified Cal's history plenty during draft day.

Uhh...

Oh - I'm not sure why the Rams offense changes so much with Marc Bulger at the helm. I mean, the Rams are 4-4 on the year and are likely to win their division in the NFC (No Fuckin' Competition) as well, but every time you see Bulger go down you have analysts on all major networks saying, "the Rams will look to give the ball to RB Steven Jackson more", and then note how good Jackson is. My question, perhaps this is obvious to me, but "WHY NOT GIVE HIM THE BALL REGARDLESS?" I apologize for caps, but that's how it sounds in my head. When Bulger is out, Jackson gains 200 all-purpose yards. When Bulger's in, Jackson gains 80 - now you tell me...would you rather your RB gain 200 or have Bulger throw for 300? Call me traditional, but it's brutally obvious to me.

I still maintain that Cadillac Williams is a better RB then Ronnie Brown, although week by week Brown's proving he's not the workout warrior I had him pegged as. I figured Ricky Williams would be cutting into Brown's playing time more than he has, but Saban's really holding tough on getting Ronnie carries - good for him. Cadillac's banged up, or dare I say, "Cadillac's in the shop" like every fucking announcer has said in the past 3 weeks, but he's been used pretty heavily here early in the season. Hopefully resting these minor injuries reintroduces Michael Pittman back into John Gruden's offense for the sake of the Bucs, Carnell Williams and my fantasy team after losing Deuce McAllister.

I gotta say I was wrong on Plaxico Burress as well. He's dropped the "Overpriced Piece of Shit" label from my book that no one cares about to just the "Asshole" label. I still maintain he offensively interferes on every ball thrown his direction, but really - who doesn't? I'm sure if Peter Warrick could manhandle the guy guarding him because of his sheer size, I'm sure he would've done the same.

Ahh, poor Peter. I said that as soon as he got sent out to Seattle, and as recently as when I got my wife pregnant for the first time.

Until next time...