Beginner's PSP Guide

One of the benefits of being a moderator of a video game website with over 100k users is the fact that I have a gigantic userbase to poll when I have questions. Upon receiving my PSP Sunday and screwing around with it for a few days, I messaged the forum game guru WolverinesManiac for some starter's advice - and I thought I'd share that as well as provide some websites to point you in the general direction of PSP competence. The tips:

• Never let the battery die out all the way. The rechargable battery that is packaged with your PSP unit has something like 500 charges, so keep it plugged in overnight as to prevent it from requiring recharges.
• Sleep Mode > Off. "The only time my PSP ever goes off/restarted is when I download a new firmware update. Sleep-mode is better for the PSP, it takes very little battery life, even if you pause in the middle of a game in sleep mode it won't take up much battery life." I read an article at IGN that basically echoed these sentiments as well, if interested you can read the full extent of their findings here.
• Power Saving Settings & the WLAN switch = Off. You will want to keep the WLAN switch in the down position unless you're playing an ad-hoc game, downloading an update or on the web. It eats the battery rather quickly so make sure its down when its not in use. Power saving settings, go to settings and turn them all off. Unneeded and if anything they slow down your system.
• DO make a parental password: you'll want to make one because when UMD's are left in the PSP they'll start up right away and that can be annoying. Of course keeping the PSP in sleep mode avoids all of this; but in the off chance that you have to power down the PSP its better to have a passcode so you have an option whether you want to start the UMD or go to the main menu.
• The PSP can only support Pro Duo or Duo stick formats. The regular memory sticks won't fit into the system.
• Be careful of what screen protector you buy. Some DO NOT use static cling but rather a glue, which usually comes in a PSP Bundle. When removing these protectors, glue residue is left behind and can damage your screen. There was a letter from Sony sent to all Gamestops about this. "I say go with the HORI screen protector."

The Links
Main Sites: Gamespot, IGN, Playstation.com
Software: PSP Video 9, 3gP_Converter
Downloads: PSP Magazines, PSP Trailers, PSPunch, Sony Connect
General: PSP 411, PSP Crazy, PSP Hacks, PSPimp, PSP Nation, PSP Rumors, PSP Vault, PSP World
Mobile Sites (for PSP Web Browser): BBC, Bloglines, Cnet, Digg, ESPN Mobile, Flickr, Games & Apps, Google, iLounge, Macrumors, MSN Messenger Mobile, One-Stop Shop, Sony's own site, Virtual Keyboard, Yahoo Mobile

Another DaONE Title

*League found at http://www.leaguedaddy.com/leagues/?lid=253*

Coach Bironm, shown here in his Ohio State visor and "Bad Motherf*cker" logo on his left chest, vows to hit the links hard this offseason after his 3rd DaONE title

Third Time's a Charm
Now 3-time champ glad, Cavaliers sad

"I've had games this year that have left me feeling unstoppable, games that have left me feeling like I didn't belong on the same online connection with my opponents, and games that have flat out driven me to a point of near-insanity," Coach Bironm said in a hoarse voice after the game. "But never did I experience all of those feelings in a game of '06 until now."

Chalk up another DaONE season following a championship game that wouldn't have disappointed a sold out online crowd, as The Ohio State University defeated the University of Virginia 20-17 in a game that came down to the last second - or last tackle.

The game began a defensive struggle, as Bironm & Liquidrob went headset-less for the first time in the '06 campaign, and subsequently educated our television sets to some new, interesting combinations of popular swear words. Neither team could move the ball effectively, with Virginia's vaunted passing attack sputtering against the tough Buckeye defense, and Ohio State's marquee rushing attack stumbled against the Cavaliers as well. However, near the beginning of the second quarter, Ohio State LB A.J. Hawk drilled HB Michael Johnson in the flats that forced him to cough the ball up, and Buckeye DE Jay Richardson recovered to give Ohio State a shortened field in Cavalier territory.

After a quick first down the Bucks were forced to attempt a 46 yard field goal, and for the first time all year K Josh Huston misaligned his sites and veered just wide left to leave the game knotted at 0-0. Hagans would waste no time, and whether on the ground or through the air he took what was given to him by the stingy defense in route to a 7-yard touchdown pass to FB Chris Snelling to put Virginia on top 7-0. After an entire half of offensive futility, the Buckeyes finally managed to the move ball following a courageous pass from the pocket by QB Troy Smith to WR Santonio Holmes for 29 yards, and then immediately following with a 32-yard play-action pass to WR Ted Ginn put the Buckeyes in the red zone after he was somehow caught from behind. With just 0:52 remaining in the half on 3rd down, Smith rolled to his right to avoid the massive Cavalier linebacker rush and found WR Roy Hall with a step on his man in the end zone for a 14-yard connection to send the game into the half tied at 7-7.

The third quarter turned out to be similar to the entire first half, as both defenses dictated the flow the game. Virginia LB Ahmad Brooks made a leaping grab in Buckeye territory as Smith dared him over the middle that led to a 23 yard field goal by K Connor Hughes, but the Buckeyes would answer as they did in the second quarter with a 30 yard field goal of their own.

Tied 10-10 in the fourth quarter, Ohio State struck gold as Smith play-actioned on 2nd and 4 to hit Ginn who made an remarkable reception under DB Patrick Duffy that set him free to go 74 yards down the field to give the Buckeyes a 17-10 lead. As Virginia drove back up the field, Hagans went to the bank one too many times as LB Bobby Carpenter stepped back and intercepted a route at the Cavalier 28 yard line that worked 3 times before on the standout linebacker. However, after a 7-yard return, Carpenter showed why he's a linebacker versus say, a fullback, as he fumbled the ball back to the Cavalier offense giving them a first down after holding them the previous 2 plays. With renewed life, Hagans moved to another first down on two plays, and then went downfield to WR Ron Morton 63 yards into Buckeye territory. On the next play, Hagans recognized a zone defense and went to standout WR Deyon Williams for a 27 yard touchdown to tie the game up at 17-17 with 2:27 remaining.

With an inconsistent offense all day, Ohio State mixed up rushing and passing out of the shotgun to buy Smith more time against the magnificent front 7 of Virginia, and after a key 3rd down conversion to WR Anthony Gonzalez 26 yards downfield, the Buckeyes managed to run into the line 3 times to use up Virginia's timeouts and kick the 40 yard field goal to give them the lead 20-17.

After a quick first down completion to TE Johnathan Stupar following the kickoff return and 0:13 remaining on the clock, Virginia QB Marques Hagans sent his receivers deep from his own 29 yard line down 3 points, but the Buckeye defense absorbed their assignments forcing Hagans to run. With no one in site, Hagans raced untouched 32 yards to the Ohio State 39 yard line with :01 remaining...but he failed to get out of bounds - gunshot, game.

"The announcers f'n said I was out of bounds!" screamed Coach Liquidrob according to Bironm's estimates of how hard he was hitting his keyboard to type that to him. "That's f'd up! No f'n way!"

"The tackle made by SS Donte Whitner left Hagans lying in bounds pointed towards the middle of the field," Coach Bironm stated. "However if he stepped out briefly before the tackle was made I missed it, but I certainly never ruled that possibility out."

Another epic game, between Season #2 and Season #5 I don't know which one I'd give the best game to but it was incredible (referring to the swat as time expired vs Davon in NCAA 2004). Great playcalling on offense and defense, two outstanding manual football players batting down long passes and using intelligence instead of gimmicks to move the ball - you really couldn't ask for a better game. #1 played #2 despite the scheduling turmoil that marred the left side of the tournament bracket, and an incredible game took place to decide what may be the last DaONE champion. Great game Rob, and as always, gotta give love to my man MadSci for hosting and running another successful season of NCAA Football.

When asked if he was going to Disney World after the championship, Bironm replied, "sure, hell they got golf courses there too."

Box Score & Summary
UVA - 00-07-03-07 - 17
OSU - 00-07-03-10 - 20

1st Quarter
no scoring

2nd Quarter
UVA 7 yard pass from Hagans to Snelling (Hughes kick) - 2:43
Bucks 14 yard pass from Smith to Hall (Huston kick) - 0:45

3rd Quarter
UVA 23 yard field goal by Hughes - 4:08
Bucks 30 yard field goal by Huston - 0:50

4th Quarter
Bucks 74 yard pass from Smith to Ginn (Huston kick) - 5:19
UVA 27 yard pass from Hagans to Williams (Hughes kick) - 2:27
Bucks 40 yard field goal by Huston - 0:21

Christmas Loot

Hope everyone had a good Christmas, and hope Mormons had a good whatever-it-is they have as well.

For xmas I hauled in a PSP, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories & SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo - and for the PS2 I finally scored a copy of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06. Only fitting I finish up another successful football season over at DaONE and I'm off to the links to endure the character building process again (sigh). To a guy like myself, video golf serves as a relaxing alternative to high-paced competitive gaming, but to others a "Country Club" is a sandwich they order with a pickle & chips at Ma & Pa's truckstop along the interstate. At any rate, expect the same shitty quality reviews that only I can provide at any moment in the near future.

I will say that GTA is unbelievable - it'll change your perception of handheld gaming.

Just wanted to brag about getting my PSP and discuss the haul. Without further ado, here's a giant photo of Bali Rodriguez to add substance to my post.

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

'Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed,
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa", what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night,
the elves want more money, the reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids,
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better,
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter.

They say I owe taxes, if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days, they all are the pits
They want the impossible, those mean little shits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's, no request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Happy Festivus everyone!

In case you didn't realize it, December 23 is Festivus. To get you going, here are some basic rules:

Main elements of Festivus

The Festivus celebration includes four major components:

• The Festivus Pole: The Costanzas' tradition begins with a bare aluminum pole, which Frank praises for its "very high strength-to-weight ratio." During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed. The pole was chosen apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, because it is "very low-maintenance," and also because the holiday's patron, Frank Costanza, "find[s] tinsel distracting."

• Festivus Dinner: The Festivus dinner menu is flexible, but it should consist of filling, non-holiday comfort food (no turkey, duck, goose, or ham). The televised dinner featured what may have been meatloaf or spaghetti in a red sauce. (Presumably, an entree in a red sauce is more festive.) Kruger took a flask out from his jacket and took a swig; so one might interpret that drinking is optional.

• The Airing of Grievances: At the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.

• The Feats of Strength: The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head's choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.

Just got back from King Kong and I must say it was the single greatest cinematic movie ever created, Peter Jackson is a genius and Naomi Watts is hotter than Chuck on cold medicine.

Don't belive me? Hot damn, check her out, make sure the wife isn't looking though.

Scientific Santa B.S.

I actually posted this last December on my first attempt at running a blog (Pwned IRL), which was an experimental project where I used to post without any particular direction and without the aid of other people (a lot like now - well, exactly like now). But the basis of the post was about back in 1990-and-3 (when I road the bus uphill both ways to school), my chemistry teacher passed out a Xerox copy of "A Scientific Inquiry into the Existence of Santa Claus" the week of Christmas.

Oh, if you're under the age of (I'm guessing) 6 & may still believe in Santa Claus, I advise you to not read anymore as I'm essentially telling you now that there is no Santa Claus. Oops...

Anyway, the copy was a small and undistributed at the time, before the likes of internet porn, downloadable music albums and uninteresting people posting blogs at the whirl of a hat. (@#$!) A fun read really, and in the event that you live in a box, basically it's a scientific analysis of Santa's journey around the world on Christmas Eve disproving his existence all together - which has unfortunately made it's way onto EVERY joke website on the 'net.

Now this chaps my ass for a variety of reasons. The main jist of it is that I wanted to post this old list as sort of a holiday flavored FM offering - but I can't, because everyone and their brother has. So - since I can't post it on the basis of being unoriginal, I'm going to dispute the entire thing and rag on any subsequent website aiming to attract users by endorsing such theory. However, for this post to make any sense, Google the title above for yourself and pay quick tribute to whichever site is receiving hits for this once well-thought out piece.

Read it? Now, two words: "atheist bastards".

The theory about the death of Santa Claus, based on unclassified physics, is severely flawed owing to its neglect of quantum phenomena that become significant in his (Santa's) particular case. At the North Pole, the terminal velocity of a reindeer in dry December air over the Northern Hemisphere (for example) is known with tremendous precision - building toys not only has become fundamental to the advanced-minded elves, but has enabled additional time to focus on other trades - such as quantum physics. Due to Elf and Christmas Registry regulations, the mass of Santa and his sleigh is also known with tremendous precision (since the number of children and their gifts is also known precisely, and the reindeer must weigh-in minutes before the flight). Also, his direction of flight is essentially east to west (for those questioning current variables).

When examined together, said conditions basically means that the momentum vector of Santa and his cargo is known with incredible precision. An elementary application of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle ("the more precisely the position is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known in this instant, and vice versa") yields the result that Santa's location, at any given moment on Christmas Eve, is highly imprecise. In other words, he is "smeared out" over the surface of the earth, analogous to the manner in which an electron is "smeared out" within a certain distance from the nucleus in an atom. Thus he can, quite literally, be everywhere at any given moment.

In addition, the relativistic velocities which his reindeer can attain for brief moments make it possible for him, in certain cases, to arrive at some locations shortly before he left the North Pole. Santa, in other words, assumes for brief periods the characteristics of tachyons. I will admit that tachyons remain hypothetical, but then so do black holes, Mel Kiper's draft reports and the female orgasm - and who really doubts their existence anymore?

Basically what I'm trying to say people - if you believe that scientists, even in a joking manner, can offer you a completely unfounded and unproven mathematical and physical analysis telling you that there is not a Santa Claus - then I'm guessing you're probably the same toolkit I see on the news every time a tornado hits a trailer park. You probably half-finished a bomb shelter in your back yard in the months leading up to the rumor of errant nukes during the Y2K crisis, and you probably read this post with the same awe as witnessing a monkey shitting a grandfather clock.

Socom 3 Patch

Zipper finally put out a patch for Socom 3 that addresses many of the problems players have experienced since launch. As always, if you weren't aware - you can visit the official Socom 3 blog at http://socomblog.typepad.com/socom/ for further details.

The SOCOM 3 1.2 update addresses many issues including the following:

• Resolved a hardware compatibility issue that was causing disconnects.
• Resolved an issue with "slow" DHCP servers that prevented some players from obtaining an IP Address before timing out.
• Resolved several issues where the player would be stuck with default weapons and equipment in game instead of the weapons and equipment they selected.
• Resolved the Clan Challenge issue where the wrong team would receive a forfeit when the other team does not show for the match.
• Updated libraries to resolve some of the voice chat issues. Some voice chat issues still remain and will be addressed in a future update.
• Resolved several stability issues with ranked and clan games.
• You now get credit for kills when you blow up a vehicle and the explosion kills other players.
• Resolved an issues with ladder ownership that was causing ladders to not be climbable.
• Resolved an issue where a late joining player would be seen as alive by some players.
• Resolved an issue where the round timer was incorrect in extraction games.
• Resolved an issue where the M1025 would be damaged by its own turrets.
• Resolved an issue where the secondary DNS server would not be used when accessing the SOCOM Community pages.
• Resolved an issue where players were able to walk in mid-air.
• Resolved an issue where players were able to run and shoot while equipped with the RPG or LAW (though the RPG/LAW does not appear to be equipped to other players).
• Resolved an issue where players were able to fire their primary weapon while the RPG/LAW was equipped.
• Resolved an issue where players are able to create a 1 round ranked game.

Many issues addressed, however the 1 that stood out to me the most was that you'd finally receive kills for blowing up vehicles. That was always a job like for example: as a SEAL on a Convoy map that you couldn't get anyone to do because there was no glory in it, however it was necessary to win the match - someone had to carry RPG's and plant mines.

Also, reader Cajunirl should be estatic to see that many microphone problems have been addressed. If he can dodge hurricanes for the next few months he may be able to get in some quality Socom time.

MVP '06 Release Date

Whaddya do when someone buys up the gaming rights to Major League Baseball and you have the best product on the virtual field? You go the next available outlet and ship the game first, and then sell it for cheaper.

On January 17th, MVP 06 NCAA Baseball will ship with a price of $29.99 for the Xbox and PS2. To me (and many others), MVP Baseball was the stand alone best baseball game on the market in 2005, an after watching a hands-on preview at Gamespot I have no reason to believe that 06 will leave me hanging without an enjoyable experience in 2006.

A few changes in the gameplay this year is a hitting system and the ability to throw the ball all with the right analog stick, but for those wanting to play with the system used in previous MVP installments EA has included the ability to retrofit your tastes. The new "load-and-fire" batting system involves pulling the stick back on the pitch and going forward based on the location of the ball, and by holding the trigger buttons you dictate whether or not you're swinging for power or contact. I'm excited to see the new system implemented, but in the event I don't like it I'm glad I have the option to switch with what made it a great game to begin with.

EA Sports has published the website for the new game, check it out at http://www.easports.com/mvp06/index.jsp and be sure to stay tuned in on the forums for related news as the game approaches release. I plan to exhaust every contact I have to receive the game early, but in the event I don't I'll have it on the 18th and will be sure to post impressions in case you're on the fence about it (like Teebee).

Also worth a read, Maddenmania user Poo-Diddy made a trip up to EA Canada in Burnaby B.C. and wrote an outstanding detailed review of his early experience with the title. You can find his review here.

FSU Babes, Rnd #2

I know I haven't done my part in continuing Boz's traditional trail of t'na, but I found some more pics of our now-favorite coeds. Judging by the searches that have been hitting this site as of late - you won't be disappointed with their second showing on FM. Merry Chr - err, Happy Holidays.

Halo Zero (PC)

For what I'm guessing is a limited time, Halo Zero is available for download thanks to the French - uhh, developer Dobermann. Halo Zero is a fan-made 2D side-scrolling adventure featuring characters such as Le MC, as well as elites, grunts, and jackals that is set on the same planet as the official Halo novel "The Fall of Reach".

It's pretty cool, you can run, jump & duck while blasting away with typical Halo weaponry complete with limited ammunition, forcing you to pick up various guns along the way. Pretty cool download - worth a little bit of your time.

System Requirements
*1.0 GHz Processor
*22 MB free disk space
*256 MB RAM
*Mouse & Keyboard

You can find the download on the official website, I think it has like 3 mirrors there as well. Oh...did I mention the entire thing is in French? Tech support for the Multiplayer feature may be a bitch if you can't get it to run, but even still - pretty fun little game.

Completed!

Lessee - I bought GTA: San Andreas on October 30th, 2004. I finished the story missions on November 30th, 2005 and then completed 100% of the game on December 14th. Now while it doesn't normally take me over a year to finish games, I would play this at random intervals - virtually always serving as an outlet from boredom or frustration from other games.

I was always touchy about people discussing the story line as I wanted to be surprised as I ran thru it, so even when I encountered such sites as:

which tells the summaries of every GTA game made to date, I refused to read it on account of my willingness to one day complete all of them myself. I have GTA: 3 and Vice City waiting in the wings to be played thru next, so I guess at this rate expect another post by me about one of them in about a year from today.

But wow, what an experience. My last few weeks of playing has been especially involving, as I've even went as far as rewatching Boyz 'N Tha Hood on an old VHS tape I had in high school and I even sat thru Menace II Society on Showtime a week ago. At a wedding I was in a few weekends ago my friends looked at me with the same awe as say...a monkey shitting a grandfather clock when I pulled up with "Nuthin But a 'G' Thang" blasting out the windows of my Volvo - so who says video games don't influence you again?

I felt this post was necessary to boast my accomplishment, and while no one may care other than myself about the stats I racked up - I'm posting 'em anyway. Behold...

Hoo-Rider: 13582

Player
Times Drowned: 0
# of Hosipital Visits: 38
Current # of Girlfriends: 6
# of Girls Dated: 6
# of Successful Dates: 89
# of Disastrous Dates: 3
# of Times Scored w/ a Girl: 61
# of Prostitutues Visited: 47
# of Meals Eaten: 124
Luck: 1000
Pilot Ranking: Captain

Money
Weapon: $117200
Fashion: $16067
Property: $1039000
Auto Repair & Painting: $5700
Tattoo: $2840
Hairdressing: $4600
Prostitute: $592
Strip Club: $60
Car Modification: $30050
Food: $1103
Total Shopping: $169460
Money Spent Gambling: $26693
Money Won Gambling: $24520
Money Lost Gambling: $2173
Biggest Gambling Win: $5000
Biggest Gambling Loss: $400

Weapons (all on Hitman skill level)
Bullets Fired: 52932
KGS of Explosives Used: 412
Bullets that Hit: 33875

Crimes
# of Police Bribes: 9
Total # of Wanted Stars Attained: 1258
Total # of Wanted Stars Evaded: 733
Times Busted: 10
Criminals Wasted: 208
Gang Members Wasted: 2207
People Wasted by Others: 1057
People You've Wasted: 6150
Road Vehicles Destroyed: 1196
Boats Destroyed: 9
Planes & Helicopters Destroyed: 230
Cost of Property Damaged: $6137913
Tires Popped by Gunfire: 332
Number of Headshots: 1088
Fires Started: 1470
Total Legitimate Kills: 4057

Achievements
All Girlfriends 100%
Distance Travelled on Foot: 1134404 ft.
Distance Travelled by Swimming: 56187 ft.
Distance Travelled by Car: 6641632 ft.
Distance Travelled by Bicycle: 359870 ft.
Distance Travelled by Motorbike: 3387854 ft.
Distance Travelled by Boat: 228493 ft.
Distance Travelled by Helicopter: 497093 ft.
Distance Travelled by Plane: 858889 ft.
Distance Travelled on Treadmill: 9466 ft.
Flight Time: 2:23
Time on Jetpack: 0:50
Longest Treadmill Time: 2:04
Distance Travelled on Exercise Bike: 200313 ft.
Longest Exercise Bike Time: 25:45
Best Insane Stunt Awarded: Double Insane Stunt
Unique Jumps Found: 16/70
Unique Jumps Done: 8/70
Longest Wheelie Distance: 1687.67 ft.
Longest Wheelie Time: 0:42
Longest Stoppie Distance: 244.22 ft.
Longest Stoppie Time: 0:13
Longest 2 Wheels Distance: 86.15 ft.
Longest 2 Wheels Time: 0:04
Maximum Insane Jump Distance: 6250.00 ft.
Maximum Insane Jump Height: 28
Maximum Insane Jump Flips: 2º
Maximum Insane Jump Rotation: 1022º
Last Chase Time w/ 5 Stars: 1:13
Longest Chase Time w/ 5 Stars: 1:55
Last Dance Score: 10200
Furthest Hoop: 162.22 ft.
Heaviest Weight on Bench Press: 320 lbs
Heaviest Weight on Dumbbells: 110 lbs
Tags Sprayed: 100/100
Snapshots Taken: 50/50
Oysters Collected: 50/50
Horseshoes Collected: 50/50

Mission
Mission Attempts: 351
Missions Passed: 145
Highest Vigilante Mission Level: 12
Criminals Killed on Vigilante Mission: 214
Highest Firefighter Mission Level: 12
Total Fires Extinguished: 88
Highest Paramedic Mission Level: 12
People Saved in Ambulance: 78
Cash Made in a Taxi: $9690
Passengers Dropped Off: 50
# of Truck Missions Passed: 8
$ Made in Truck: $30550
Pimping Level: 10
# of Girls Pimped: 10
$ Made from Pimping: $9600
# of Vehicles Exported: $30/30
Time Taken to Complete Quarry: 23:44
Packages Delivered: 67
Photographs Taken: 91
Best Position in 8-Track: 1
Best Time in 8-Track: 5:33
Best Lap in 8-Track: 0:24
Best Position in Dirt Track: 1
Best Time in Dirt Track: 5:54
Best Lap Time in Dirt Track: 0:54
BMX Best Time: 2:35
NRG-500 Best Time: 1:33
Shooting Range Levels Passed: 12/12
Most Cars Parked in 'Valet Parking': 25/25
Total Time in Bloodring: 1:00
Kickstart Best Score: 27
Highest Basketball Score: 45
Best Time in Lowrider Race: 1:26
Best Time in Little Loop: 0:50
Best Time in Backroad Wanderer: 1:50
Best Time in City Circuit: 1:43
Best Time in Vinewood: 2:44
Best Time in Freeway: 2:20
Best Time in Into the Country: 3:27
Best Time in Badlands A: 3:36
Best Time in Badlands B: 3:31
Best Time in Dirtbike Danger: 2:01
Best Time in Bandito County: 2:38
Best Time in Go-Go-Kart: 2:28
Best Time in San Fierro Fastland: 1:45
Best Time in San Fierro Hills: 5:07
Best Time in Country Endurance: 5:23
Best Time in SF to LV: 3:11
Best Time in Dam Rider: 2:09
Best Time in Desert Tricks: 2:22
Best Time in LV Ringroad: 2:16
Best Time in World War Aces: 2:46
Best Time in Barnstorming: 6:18
Best Time in Military Service: 7:03
Best Time in Chopper Checkpoint: 4:01
Best Time in Whirly Bird Waypoint: 3:57
Best Time in Heli Heli: 6:40

Misc
Progress Made: 100.00%
Playing Time: 113:07
Days Passed in Game: 399
Safehouse Visits: 374
Vehicle Resprays: 213
Times Visited the Gym: 38

..and I also need to mention, not 1 cheat was used to beat the game. That's not saying I didn't enter cheat codes and use them to cause mayhem on another save on the memory card, but this run-thru was done cheat-free.

Onto the Finals!

*League found at http://www.leaguedaddy.com/leagues/?lid=253*

LB A.J. Hawk asks, "ahhh c'mon Coach, can I keep one?"

Buckeyes Contain Bulldogs
Bironm outdoes himself on dumb Leaguedaddy game titles

The second meeting on the season between Coach MadSci's Bulldogs and Coach Bironm's Buckeyes turned out similar to the last, with this time Ohio State advancing to the finals of the DaONE playoffs by a score of 31-7.

Ohio State began the game with a methodical march down the field against a much improved Georgia run defense from their previous matchup, penny & nickeling (no dime's to speak of) on first & second down and got bailed out by 2 third-down receptions for 61 yards by WR Ted Ginn. Despite their efforts, the Buckeyes came up short of the end zone and had to settle for a K Josh Huston 44 yard field goal. Georgia couldn't answer the 3 minute drive with one of their own, and just less than 2 minutes after the field goal the Buckeyes found the end zone, as QB Troy Smith found a leaping Ginn for a 35 yard touchdown pass.

After the first of 2 FS Nate Salley interceptions, Ohio State managed to take advantage of a short field and on 3rd and goal, Smith tucked it and ran for a 6 yard touchdown dash thru the heart of the Bulldog defense. However, by this time the Georgia offense began to click, and after 2 first downs QB D.J. Shockley went up top to his monster TE Leonard Pope, who outraced the Buckeye defense 71 yards in route to the first UGA score.

The score would remain 17-7 heading into the half, but the Buckeye defense held tough after a long kick return by Danny Ware to force another Shockley pick. With just under 4 minutes remaining in the quarter, the Buckeyes hooked up on a long ball of their own as Smith read the UGA blitz to find a wide open WR Roy Hall for a 62 yard touchdown reception. The Buckeyes would add another touchdown in the fourth on an 8 yard touchdown rush by FB Dionte Johnson, but the air had already been sucked out of the Georgia fans in the 3rd when LB A.J. Hawk wrestled an interception away from Pope in the end zone to thwart the last serious Georgia threat.

Great game Mad as usual, look forward to seeing you again in another season - can't go without dat DaONE.

Box Score & Summary
UGA - 00-07-00-00 - 7
OSU - 10-07-07-07 - 31

1st Quarter
Bucks 44 yard field goal by Huston - 2:40
Bucks 35 yard pass from Smith to Ginn (Huston kick) - 0:42

2nd Quarter
Bucks 6 yard run by Smith (Huston kick) - 4:10
UGA 71 yard pass from Shockley to Pope (Ely-Kelso kick) - 2:28

3rd Quarter
Bucks 62 yard pass from Smith to Hall (Huston kick) - 3:58

4th Quarter
Bucks 8 yard run by Johnson (Huston kick) - 5:24

EA Sports NCAA 2006 Tournament

The 2005 EA Sports NCAA Football Challenge concluded last weekend, with Clemson University's Michael Hawkins emerging the winner of the $10,000 prize. Hawkins won the final 36-35 after hitting an 80-yard hail mary with less than a minute remaining in the game to take the lead, and then Penn State University's Dan Ward botched a 61-yard field goal as time expired.

Sound familiar? Ya, it's like the story of the NCAA ballers life. Hail Mary to end it, 61 yard field goal the norm - I just find it humorous that I can read thru this article and sympathize with every sentiment conveyed in the special "tips" section. One of my favorites was from last year's champion, Florida State's Jesse "Juice" Hanninan:

It’s a very legit play. Some people thinks it’s an unfair play, but you’ve just got to know the counter for it. You’ve got to be smart enough to stop it.

Now I know everyone plays the same and whatnot, but I have news for you - when you base your entire offense on the HB Direct and then audible in a bomb when someone gears up to stop it...it's not a legit play. I know I'm arguing a fruitless argument and I gave up a long time ago on those not within the "sim" community I'd guess you call it, but I mean I think I'd honestly shit my pants twice watching this event pan out.

I forget what game level this event was played on (I think Varsity or All-American), but I'd love to see some of the guys I play with in an event like this. I don't honestly believe we'd roll in and beat everyone's ass, but I know they'd make for some great games - it just sucks that EA excludes anyone not enrolled at one of the host schools from participating in the event. Wonder if I can enroll at Ohio State for basket weaving or something next quarter...

Anyway, here's the IGN link to the story as well.

Back to the Glory Days?

*just an excerpt from one of my online NCAA leagues which can be found at http://www.leaguedaddy.com/leagues/?lid=253*

The Buckeyes showed they still possess datHeart necessary to be successful in online play

DaONE Has a Pulse!
Buckeyes defeat Miami in the long awaited Elite 8 battle

Coach Bironm, drenched in rare and sought-after Citrus Cooler flavored Gatorade, had only one thing to say after the game. "My kids tonight showed that they have more Heart than the Billboard Top 50 in the late '80s."

Going up against hot Miami team after a sound defeat of the up & down Coach TDAUG's Oklahoma Sooners, the Buckeyes knew they would be in for a game and they came out accordingly. After shutting down the opening Canes drive after a non-existent clipping call forced them to start from their own 9, HB Erik Haw showed no lack of aortic fortitude by following the block of RG Doug Datish right thru the Canes 5-2 defensive set to cruise 68 yards for the quarter's first touchdown. After a quick Miami 3 and out, Ohio State would only need 3 plays to drive 33 yards for their second touchdown, this time the result of a 14 yard QB Troy Smith option keeper. Miami would again stutter on offense after the ensuing kick, and after a short punt the Buckeyes again marched into the end zone on a 2 yard FB Dionte Johnson touchdown run.

Up early, the Buckeyes began playing a bit more liberal on defense, but Coach Canes142 found a way to burn it on a play-action 63 yard pass from QB Kirby Freeman to WR Sionorice Moss, or however the world you spell that. With just 1:29 remaining in the half, Smith didn't hesitate in retaliating with a 77 yard strike to WR Roy Hall to conclude the game's scoring before halftime at 28-7.

Good game Canes, I'm sure I'll see you around the next time the Mad Doc laces up the Commissioner shoes.

Box Score & Summary
UM - 00-07-00-00 - 7
OSU - 21-07-00-00 - 28

1st Quarter
Bucks 68 yard run by Haw (Huston kick) - 3:41
Bucks 14 yard run by Smith (Huston kick) - 1:29
Bucks 2 yard run by Johnson (Huston kick) - 0:00

2nd Quarter
Miami 63 yard pass from Freeman to Moss (Peattie kick) - 1:52
Bucks 77 yard pass from Smith to Hall (Huston kick) - 0:33

3rd Quarter
no scoring

4th Quarter
no scoring

World Baseball Classic

Not sure how much you've been following the future event, but from March 3rd - 20th, 2006, six different venues will host the first World Baseball Classic. The landmark event is set to have teams representing their countries of Australia, Canada, China, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, Italy, the Netherlands, Japan, Korea, Mexico, Panama, Puerto Rico, South Africa, Chinese Taipei, the United States and Venezuela. Currently, 177 Major League players have committed to play for their home countries, including both of this year's MVP's in Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez.

As an article on mlb.com states, imagine a first round showdown between USA's Barry Bonds & Canada's Eric Gagne, or a 9th inning at bat between Chicago White Sox teammates Mark Buerhle of the U.S. and Tadahito Iguchi of Japan to decide which of their countries advances to the Final. Any way you slice it, this event looks to be one of the most exciting events since the first year the NBA players went international with the first "Dream Team".

Clicking the pic will take you to the MLB homepage featuring updates on the event as players commit to their countries, as well as providing you with dates that games will be played at different locations along with the opportunity to purchase tickets for the event.

Now on a side note, Boz and I have been talking about updating our MVP Baseball rosters once again as our excitement again begins to surface following the winter meetings, and now we're working on a way to include the WBC teams on the roster file as well - so I guess if you're still hailing MVP Baseball as the greatest baseball title available for the MLB, then be sure and stay tuned in the near future to the download section along link side of this blog.

JDatE

I promise I'll post more productive shit this week, but I had to add a note somewhere that I've finally finished my first book since "Omerta" by Mario Puzo.

I must say that yes, I do have a life, but I started reading this like a year ago and picked up bits and pieces along the way, but I finally finished it. Ok, so it's not actually a book, but it's gotta be the best online publication I've came across, so if you have like - a lot - of time, then by all means click the pic & read up.

MLB Winter Meetings moves

Some serious movement going on round the world of hot stove MLB, here is your complete list:

2005 WINTER MEETINGS TRANSACTIONS SUMMARY

December 5th
Cleveland Indians – Signed RHP Paul Byrd to a two-year contract with a club option for 2008.
New York Mets – Acquired C Paul Lo Duca from the Florida Marlins in exchange for two players to be named.
Oakland Athletics – Acquired RHP Chad Gaudin from the Toronto Blue Jays in exchange for a player to be named later.
St. Louis Cardinals – Signed C Gary Bennett and INF Deivi Cruz to one-year contracts.

December 6th
Baltimore Orioles – Traded LHP Steve Kline to the San Francisco Giants in exchange for RHP LaTroy Hawkins.
Toronto Blue Jays – Signed RHP A.J. Burnett to a five-year contract.

December 7th
Arizona Diamondbacks – Acquired C Johnny Estrada from the Atlanta Braves in exchange for RHPs Lance Cormier and Oscar Villarreal.
Atlanta Braves – Acquired RHP Wes Obermueller from the Milwaukee Brewers in exchange for RHP Dan Kolb.
Boston Red Sox – Acquired INF Mark Loretta from the San Diego Padres in exchange for C Doug Mirabelli.
Chicago Cubs – Acquired OF Juan Pierre from the Florida Marlins in exchange for RHPs Sergio Mitre and Ricky Nolasco and LHP Renyel Pinto. Agreed to terms with INF/OF John Mabry on a one-year contract.
Cleveland Indians – Re-signed RHP Bob Wickman to a one-year contract.
Colorado Rockies – Acquired C Yorvit Torrealba from the Seattle Mariners for a player to be named later and designated C Miguel Ojeda for assignment.
Florida Marlins – Re-signed RHP Brian Moehler to a one-year contract; signed INF Lenny Harris to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training.
Kansas City Royals – Acquired LHP Mark Redman from the Pittsburgh Pirates in exchange for RHP Jonah Bayliss and a player to be named later. Granted the unconditional release of RHP D.J. Carrasco.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim – Designated OF Jeff DaVanon for assignment; added RHP Hector Carrasco to the 40-man roster.
Los Angeles Dodgers – Signed INF Rafael Furcal to a three-year contract. Re-signed INF Olmedo Saenz to a two-year contract.
St. Louis Cardinals – Acquired OF Larry Bigbie and INF Aaron Miles from the Colorado Rockies in exchange for LHP Ray King.
San Diego Padres – Re-signed RHP Trevor Hoffman to a two-year contract with a vesting option for 2008.
Seattle Mariners – Re-signed LHP Jamie Moyer to a one-year contract.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Acquired INF Sean Burroughs from the San Diego Padres in exchange for RHP Dewon Brazelton.
Texas Rangers – Agreed to terms with RHP John Wasdin on a one-year contract.
Toronto Blue Jays – Acquired INF Lyle Overbay and a player to be named later from the Milwaukee Brewers in exchange for RHP Dave Bush, OF Gabe Gross and a player to be named.

December 8th
Atlanta Braves – Acquired INF Edgar Renteria and cash considerations from the Boston Red Sox for INF Andy Marte.
Cincinnati Reds – Acquired INF/OF Tony Womack from the New York Yankees in exchange for INF Kevin Howard and OF Ben Himes.
Colorado Rockies – Signed RHP Jose Mesa to a one-year contract with a club option for 2007.
Kansas City Royals – Signed RHP Elmer Dessens to a two-year contract. Signed INF/OF Joe McEwing to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training.
New York Mets – Signed INF Jose Valentin to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training.
Pittsburgh Pirates – Acquired INF Sean Casey and a cash consideration in exchange for LHP Dave Williams.
San Francisco Giants – Signed INF/OF Mark Sweeney to a two-year contract.
Seattle Mariners – Acquired RHP Marcos Carvajal to complete trade for C Yorvit Torrealba.
Toronto Blue Jays – Acquired RHP Ty Taubenheim from the Milwaukee Brewers as the player to be named in the trade that sent Lyle Overbay to Toronto for RHP Dave Bush, OF Gabe Gross; Milwaukee acquired LHP Zach Jackson from Toronto to complete the trade.

Bengals Banter

The holidays certainly are a busy time, and as such I'm unsure as to whether or not I want to talk about the Bengals beating Pittsburgh, Chad Johnson's comments in the news, Ohio State vs. Notre Dame in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl or the Reds trading Sean Casey...guess I'll start with 'dem Bengals.

Ok so the Bengals. Actually Steelers - Fuck Hines Ward. I've always loved him as a player and admired his enthusiasm, then he mocks Chad Johnson's Riverdance & follows up with the Icky Shuffle. Now, I could do the Riverdance - it is pretty stupid. Funny, but stupid. But when you bust out the Icky Shuffle you've went too fuckin' far. I'm really yet to see the first end zone celebration be derogitory towards another team, but then again we've never been the first place team able to back up our shit talk. It was ok when you were the top dawg, people could celebrate and get excited, but they'd always end up losing in the end - well, now Hines can lick his own asshole.

What a vindicating win. And I really don't like hating on the Steelers, I like to build up my hatred Brian Billick and unleash that during Ravens' games.

And forgive me for jumping the gun a bit, but I'm ready to talk Pro Bowl. In 1989 we sent 6 players and haven't touched that number since, but we may approach it again as coaches & players vote on December 19th & 20th and the fan ballots stop.

Definite: QB Carson Palmer, WR Chad Johnson, RT Willie Anderson, CB Deltha O'Neal
Maybe: RB Rudi Johnson, MLB Odell Thurman, LT Levi Jones, K Shayne Graham

In Palmer you have either the #1 or #2 rated passer in the NFL all season, Johnson is the perennial AFC receiving leader, Anderson is still the best RT in the NFL and O'Neal is your interception leader.

Rudi has some tough company at the spot in having to outshine Edgerrin James and LaDainian Tomlinson, but he appears to be battling with the Chiefs' Larry Johnson for the 3rd and final spot. My notion tells me Johnson will win as he has more yards, TD's and a higher YPC, but usually one of the top 3 bow out anyway and Rudi may go back to the Pro Bowl again by that nature.

Odell Thurman should be everybody's Defensive Rookie of the Year in the AFC. I mean, I thought FS Madieu Williams would garner votes last season but was destroyed by a much higher profile MLB Jonathan Vilma, but this year I think it's a no-brainer. As far as the Pro Bowl goes however, Vilma's going to get votes in front of him as well as guys like Gary Brackett & Zach Thomas. He has a good chance as going as an alternate, but I don't think Thurman goes this year otherwise. Wait for the near future, he'll be there plenty.

Any time a QB leads the league in passing, you can usually pencil in his blindside T to be mentioned for the Pro Bowl. Now in Cincinnati we've known our Tackles have been good the last few years, but after the Indianapolis game I think most people know how good Jones is with the job he did against Dwight Freeney. Jones essentially made Johnathan Ogden look old, and he's really done nothing he hasn't done for the last 2 seasons.

Who else did I mention...Shayne Graham. His kickoffs are god-awful, but anytime you rank 2nd in points and drill some 82% of your attempted kicks for a winning team, you're going to get plenty of mention. Graham's ass is slightly saved on the kickoffs by a great coverage unit and that may totally alleviate the knock on him, and as of right now I believe he's leading the fan balloting anyway. Since he looks like he may be there anyway, I guess I should've probably listed him first before Rudi so this pick doesn't look like so much of a stretch.

Bottom Line: I'm thinking 5 Bengals in the 2006 Pro Bowl.

Should have Xbox 360 this week

So I return from my 2-month Hiatus in Arizona and Mexico with no idea what's going on in the world of sports, a chafe or some sort of rash on my undersized peter and a message on my VoiceMail that I am next in line for a Xbox 360 at the Queens/Forest Hills Gamestop. What does this mean for me?

Well, it means I'm out 400+ bucks for the system alone. What games will I grab? I was planning on the no-brainer Madden 360 and NBA Live but Live got around a 5.9 average and got some terrible reviews. Who knows, everything I've seen on it looks pretty damn sweet so I'm still undecided. I may have to sign up for gametap.com or the other video game rental site, what's it called? Can't recall.

A big holy shit for the rack on that Atlanta Girl in Biron's post, good to see the site hasn't fallen apart without me posting sporadically.

Back to the 360, whilst going to Target here in San Diego to buy some hydrocortisone to fight the eczema I've developed on my schlong, I actually played some 360, first time I'd ever even seen the beast to be honest. It was in a word, incredible. Played some Call of Duty 2:Big Red One(which in my case fits perfectly, damn this penis hurts!) and some King Kong. Kong was mindblowing, was grabbing T-Rexes, Raptors, swinging on vines and stuff that would make a 13-year old boy (as well as a 30 year old immature person with a strangely infected penis)squeal like a schoolgirl.

They didn't have any playable demos of Madden or any sports games, but NBA2k6 and NHL2k6 were there as videos, they didn't sway me one way or the other, I just don't like how they look but I'm honestly gonna try them out, I'm easy like that you know?

See Swade hasn't returned from his hiatus, not a good sign, at least for me, I'll have to actually post more frequently now and maybe dig into my own thesaurus. Until then, I'll just keep posting pics of hot chicks and talking about video games.

I'm off to lube up my Lil' Soldier with some Hydrocortisone, wish me luck.

MADDEN CURSE MY ASS!